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annette925 Asked January 2022

How long did the doctors take to establish a (cancer) treatment plan for your loved one? It's been 1 & 1/2 mo and still waiting!!

My mom is 75 and routine blood work showed her anemic 2 months ago. Doctor then ordered colonoscopy which found 2 large tumors and also confirmed spread to her lung. It has been about 1 & 1/2 months since we found this out. Now we are waiting on a biopsy on her lymph nodes Dec 13 and an MRI on her brain the 14th to see if it's spread. Then we will have to wait again for those results. Is this normal? I know each patient is different and treatment plans rely on specific cancers and stages, etc. but it seems like it's taking a long time for the doctors to come up with a treatment plan for my mother.


Side note - she works 2 jobs and I'm almost sure she schedules her appts around her work schedule...because I don't think she realizes the severity of this...but shouldn't the doctors explain this to her?! I have not really discussed this with her in detail. She lives 5 states away and I'm just trying to put the pieces together when she does tell me any information or updates. Any opinions are appreciated. Thank you!

Midkid58 Jan 2022
I was amazed by the number of tests that were required before I ever got into treatment for my cancer.

Each patient has their own 'cocktail' of drugs that are specifically mixed up for them, if they are doing infusion therapy. I did not do radiation, but I am sure that they are super careful about what & where they radiate.

I know from dx (may 1st) to my first infusion was 2 months to the day. My hair all fell out 5 days after the 1st infusion. Not ready for THAT, for sure.

It sounds like your aunt has got her head buried in the sand. It's SUPER hard to deal with the truth, and working really hard at your job is one way to 'ignore' what's going on.

Stay in touch, through her whole treatment. That was hardest for me. People were kind to say 'let me know what I can do' and then ghosted me. I get it. Being around someone who is normally active and fine--and then they're not, it's scary.

My DH barely spoke to me for 8 months and couldn't bear to look at my bald head. I also lost eyebrows and eyelashes. Yeah, w/o a LOT of makeup, I didn't look like me.

AlvaDeer Jan 2022
Yes, unfortunately, it takes a long time, and even longer right now with our hospitals already stressed. The fact that you have two sites, the colon and the lung means that a Pet Scan will likely be needed to see if there are more sites. There will have to be staging and then finding out if these cancers are primaries (two) which would be unusual, or if the lung cancer already represents spread from the colon. The staging will give prognosis for the future. The gene testing will determine type of cancer and best options for removal, radiation, chemo treatment. You can know right away that work will be out of the question for some time.
I call the waiting (I have been there) the "dread waiting room" and it is the worst room in the house. It is so hard to be without answers, to get tests approved, then to go for those tests and to await results, then to get consults on those results and make decisions.
I am hoping your Mom has a good support system, a good friend in the area or other family. It is so difficult to negotiate all of this and at some points your hearing just almost cosed off; you just can't hear what they are saying.
I wish you the best. I hope you will update this. It is so hard to be not right there for give support.

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PeggySue2020 Jan 2022
Ya, it kinda is. There's nothing for them to do pending results of how far it's spread.

The colorectal and lung aspect however can be addressed now. It is unlikely that she will be able to return to work unless her employer is willing to maintain her remotely. And even then, you are far away. Therefore she should make a decision now as to what's going to happen if/when this gets worse. Is there enough of her money accessible to y'all to deal with it? Or does she just want to deal? If it's just hush-hush with her on the money, then you leave her to deal until it's not.

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