Having lost my wife 4 years ago, I can tell you, trying to understand your loss is tough. Trying to cope with the reality of your husband's death is tough. Grief can cause listlessness, insomnia, and fatigue. These conditions are not unusual after the loss of a loved one, especially a spouse. Your grief is a testimony of your love for him. The loss of your husband means the loss of intimacy, the interdependence you shared, and the future you were planning for. The life you shared contributed to who you are. Maybe it seems like there's nothing important to get up for now. But even with that, and that's a lot, your life still has meaning and purpose. Like myself, you may be asking “Who am I without my husband?", "What defines my life?", "What will be my new normal?”. It may take a while to answer these questions, but you will answer them. As trite as it sounds, life goes on.
Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge's book “Getting to the Other Side of Grief, Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse”, is an excellent book that may help you understand your loss, and how to recover from it. It'll take time. Many of us have experienced the loss of our spouse, but in time, have come to live a satisfying life. You will, too.
You are not only grieving the loss of your husband, but you are also exhausted from your years of caring for him. So please be kind to yourself. You are very early in your grieving process, and just starting to process that your life now will never be the same. If need be, talk to your doctor about going on an antidepressant, even if it's only temporary. Also like it's been suggested, look into attending some Grief Share meetings when you're ready, as it can be very helpful to be able to share with others who have lost a loved one as well. I personally recommend the book Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha W. Hickman. It has a short devotion for each day and allows you to process your grief in little snippets. My husband has been dead for a year and 4 months now and I still read it every day. I cared for my husband for many, many years, and I can tell you for the first 4 months or so, I felt like I was just wandering around my house not knowing what I should be doing with myself, as I had kind of lost myself over the years. But I am here to tell you that things do get better and life does go on. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will happen. So for now just take good care of yourself, and do what you want, if you want and when you want. God bless you my sister in grief.
Bereavement is normal after the death of a close person. It will pass eventually. You should maintain close contact with friends and relatives during this difficult time.
Any time I'm forced to deal with a traumatic event, all I want to do is sleep and do nothing when I'm awake. It's a sign of depression and trying to get over the traumatic event. Sleeping shuts out conscious thought entirely and allows you time to unconsciously process your huge loss. Healing takes a long time and it's a very hard thing to go through.
My condolences on the loss of your husband. Please do see your doctor if your desire to sleep lasts too long and you need some help with your grief. We all need help with life's troubles from time to time. Hugs.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s still very new and I’m sure the wound is raw. Be kind and gentle with yourself. I highly recommend attending GriefShare meetings, they are a wonderful network for help and healing. It’s okay to be tired and want to check out a bit. If it lingers be sure to get an updated medical evaluation and possibly medicinal help for the sadness and tiredness
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Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge's book “Getting to the Other Side of Grief, Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse”, is an excellent book that may help you understand your loss, and how to recover from it. It'll take time. Many of us have experienced the loss of our spouse, but in time, have come to live a satisfying life. You will, too.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies, comfort and strength during this difficult time.
Please be gentle with yourself, it is still early days and it's been a long journey.
Great big warm hug!
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If need be, talk to your doctor about going on an antidepressant, even if it's only temporary.
Also like it's been suggested, look into attending some Grief Share meetings when you're ready, as it can be very helpful to be able to share with others who have lost a loved one as well.
I personally recommend the book Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha W. Hickman. It has a short devotion for each day and allows you to process your grief in little snippets. My husband has been dead for a year and 4 months now and I still read it every day.
I cared for my husband for many, many years, and I can tell you for the first 4 months or so, I felt like I was just wandering around my house not knowing what I should be doing with myself, as I had kind of lost myself over the years.
But I am here to tell you that things do get better and life does go on. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will happen. So for now just take good care of yourself, and do what you want, if you want and when you want.
God bless you my sister in grief.
My condolences on the loss of your husband. Please do see your doctor if your desire to sleep lasts too long and you need some help with your grief. We all need help with life's troubles from time to time. Hugs.