My father (89) is in an assisted living suffering with advanced dementia. How do we tell him he cannot go back to his home?

Termites are a real bugger to deal with. Sometimes it take months and months to get rid of them, then once you do, a pipe bursts and floods the kitchen and you have tear it all out and start mold eradication. Then, wouldn't you know it, the furnace/AC went out, and it's so cold/hot in there!

See what I'm doing?

This is what you do until he stops asking, and he WILL stop asking.

When my friend put her mom in board and care, she stuck to the story that the house had to be tented for pests. Over the next months, mom stopped talking about the house as her immediate reality became the home where she was.

Plan visits around the facility/mc activities. Introduce yourself and your father around his peer group. Redirect conversations increasingly toward his new neighbors in his new life.

Yo know that he will never get it. Why waste the time explaining? Go ahed and do what is right.

Don't tell him.

He can't remember anyways, so why start the rage issues again?

Being the adult authority for a parent is a mental struggle for certain. You need to deal with the business side of things with zero emotion and submission to the fact that this is the person that raised you. It really helps to do what is needed when you do this. It removes the idea that you have to be accountable to him for your actions.

I always approached the very difficult, I should tell him, he needs to know...with the mentality that I was appointed to do what was in his best interest with all the known facts, not to help him understand or carry him through it. Weighing the pros and cons of the action allowed me to make decisions that I never wanted to have to make. What was the best course of action for my dads well-being now and down the road was always the deciding factor.

I hope you can find a way to do this and not feel bad about not including him in anyway. He trusted you to do right by him when he assigned you the authority. So his demented mind might not agree but, his sound mind knew you would take care of him.

When you are dealing with Dementia you have to tell little white lies. Your Dad cannot be reasoned with anymore. In his mind thete is nothing wrong with him. And when he is talking about home does he mean the one he was living in or his childhood home. I believe that people suffering from Dementia go back in time. First thing to go is short-term memory and then long-term memory is chipped at. I would bet if Dad's Dementia is advanced then he thinks he is a younger man who can take care of himself. Does he know you as his child or his wife or mother.

Do NOT tell him you are selling his house. He will not understand why. Also, he maybe better off in Memory care especially if he has rage issues. ALs are really not equipped to handle this type of resident.