My 85 year old mother complains continually that she is tired. Is this common at this age?

It would not hurt to have blood tests run to see if she is lacking somewhere, like suggested in B12. Also, cancer does come back, may want to check her lungs out too.

There are two issues here: ‘tired continually’ and ‘complains continually’. I feel like I can do ‘tired continually’ myself, what with a complicated life, poor sleep and medications that don’t actually zip me up. At 85, not too many people are full of vitality, even if they care better for her health. There's no point in complaining about it.

I do my level best not to ‘complain continually’. It would make me feel worse and make life worse for DH, who is as helpful as he can be. My suggestion would be to agree to the ‘tired’ and tell her that the ‘complain’ is getting very old – even older than she is. You think through nice things to talk about when you visit. Why shouldn’t she do the same?

B-12

My Mother will be 85 next month. She broke her hip a little over 2 yrs ago. She uses a standard small walker, no more rollator. The therapist thought they would not be as safe and could get away from her. She's a small framed woman. She also tries to avoid walking, even though she almost never sat down her entire life..always up doing something. I tell her you need to move. Her previous roommate who is 90 moves more than she does. She also consumed large amounts of candy, cookies, cupcakes...her family brings in. I bring an occasional treat as the facility gives them enough snacks, desserts, etc. throughout the day. The more you can get your Mom up and moving, she will improve quickly. I'm bringing my Mom home. I've decided its time, I want her to be with family. I will be giving her healthy options instead of so many desserts. I warned her about our long hallways and that she will be walking them. She said.."oh boy I can't wait " a little sarcasm in her voice. After reading your post I see your Mom did have lung cancer, I would be very cautious and talk with her doctor. They will give you good information, on how to keep Mom safe and healthy. Good luck to you.

The heart failure could have worsened causing shortness of breath which makes her tired. I would not be pushing your mother to be 'more active' if she's tired after walking 20 feet! She should see her doctor for a full medical workup. You can buy a pulse oximeter at the drugstore to see what her oxygen levels are at while she's sitting down, then again when she's walking. If her oxygen levels drop, that's a bad sign that needs medical attention. I say this b/c my own mother has some CHF going on along with pulmonary hypertension; her oxygen levels drop dangerously low at times and she's been given a portable oxygen tank for the daytime (she's been on night oxygen for years). She too is chronically tired from not getting enough oxygen in her lungs! If your mom had lung cancer, her lungs may have suffered damage during the cancer phase and during treatment.

At 85, it's not uncommon to enjoy sweets & to be overweight. To try to force a lifestyle change at her age can be virtually impossible. I'd get her to the PCP to see what's going on with her lungs; that should be your first course of action in my opinion.

Good luck!