My mom will be 97 in a few weeks. She is sleeping a lot. What does this mean?

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Msbarbie Asked January 2022

My mom will be 97 in a few weeks. She is sleeping a lot. What does this mean?

My beautiful mom has been sleeping a lot more lately. She does have afib and some CHF. Her heart echo showed only 24% ejection fraction. She has been always alert, but lately her short term memory is bad. She denies depression or any discomforts. She says it just feels good to be in bed. I know it is more taxing for her to use the walker, she gets very tired out. I know she is winding her life down. I miss her and see her slipping away. I accept that she will pass, but question when. Of course I don't want her to pass. At times I am fearful to find her dead in bed and at times hope she has passed peacefully in her sleep. Is this wrong?
She is still eating but not much. Its hard to get her to drink the fluid amount she should. Do I just let her be and not force things?
I guess I am looking for support and answers. I am an only child, so it's me. I have 2 adult children, but they have busy careers and families. I am not complaining at all, its just the facts. Thank you.

End of Life Signs Family Caregiver Sleep Issues

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score 1 · Answer 1

An ejection fraction of 24% is very low, meaning your mother's heart is not pumping all the oxygen-rich blood the body needs & causing shortness of breath & likely, exhaustion as well. Of course it's not 'wrong' for you to hope she passes peacefully in her sleep. Nobody can live forever, so at nearly 97, a peaceful passing would be ideal. I would, however, get her doctor to write her an order for a hospice evaluation right away b/c you DO want her to be as comfortable as possible as she approaches the end of her life. Definitely let her be, in the meantime, and don't force food and liquid on her. Hospice can guide you accordingly and provide support for her AND for you, which is very helpful during these stressful times.

Wishing you the best of luck, from one 'only child' of a 95 y/o mother to another.

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score 1 · Answer 2

Msbarbie, it also could be that she is bored, and staying in bed, as she says, feels good. Especially in this cold weather.

Mom's like to give advice, so to get her mind busy ask her how did certain types of housework. What was it like in high school? Who was her first boyfriend? Oh how I wished I could has asked my Mom some questions before she lost her hearing and most of her eyesight. It would have been so interesting to hear the answers :)

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score 1 · Answer 3

It may just mean that her body is giving out and her time here on earth is drawing to a close. I would certainly suggest getting hospice involved at this point as they can better help you access what is going on.
My husband in his last 6 months of life slept between 18-20 hours a day, and he was under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life.
As our bodies get ready to die, we sleep a lot more, eat and drink very little and eventually stop eating and drinking as our digestive system starts to shut down. It can actually be very painful if food or drink is forced on someone in the dying process, so that's where hospice can be a big help to you. Please contact them ASAP.
Blessings to you and your mom.

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score 1 · Answer 4

It took my mom over 5 years to completely "wind down" after she reached this point, there is no one size fits all answer.

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score 1 · Answer 5

You could ask for a hospice consultation. That way she'd be monitored by a nurse and kept comfortable as her time approaches.

She's winding down for sure, but yeah, it's comfortable to just be in bed, too. If she just goes in her sleep, she's one of the lucky ones.

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My mom will be 97 in a few weeks. She is sleeping a lot. What does this mean?

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