I apologize in advance for my rant, but I just have to get this out. My mother passed a few months back. For the most part, she had her legal affairs in order with her 3 children as equal beneficiaries per her will. The only exception was an insurance policy left to an older child many many years ago with the expectation that the older sibling would look out for the other 2 younger siblings. I truly believe it was a complete oversight as to why my mother didn't update the beneficiary information.
Fast forward to today, all sibs are fully grown and that older sibling didn't lift a finger during mother's four year cancer journey. They may have visited a total of 5x for a total of 10 hours and maybe called once a week if that. Reason given "I'm busy".
I know there is nothing I can do if this sibling decides to keep that entire insurance policy. I was the one who scraficed and cared for my mother and would do it again. My other sibling helped me out as much as they could and fully supports me. So my question would be how could someone dishonor their parent and live with themselves knowing full well the intent of their parent wishes? I have much faith and I shutter to think what's going to happen to this soon to be estranged sibling.
Thanks for listening.
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That goes for siblings, spouses, parents, etc.
You have known this to be the case for some time.
These people live with themselves very nicely, and often pass along without a care in the world; I myself don't believe in kharma or divine retribution.
These people are best left to their own devices and their own lives; that seems to have been the case all these years anyway. And on you go with a good life of your own, treasuring your memories and knowing you did a great job.
Just get on with life, and make it good, make it quality, make it as happy as you can. I wish you the best and am sorry for your loss.
Remember what you did for your mum and be proud of the kind of person you are, really proud. Now go and treat yourself accordingly.
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My siblings badgered my cognitively impaired father to change his beneficiary from my mother, to the two of them ~ he died nine days later due to an “accident.”
Months later, as my mother lay dying in a hospital bed, a sibling walked in and, in the last words he spoke to me, they said, “I can only stay an hour.”
I was the primary care support for my parents the last 4 years of their lives and dropped everything at each crisis moment.
I wish you peace as you close that door of that relationship and cherish the bond with your likeminded sibling. It’s okay to let go of people who you will never understand.
Thank you for being the angel to your parent. They knew goodness.
My OB robbed my parents blind, yet in their will, he would have received 1/6th of their estate, just like the rest of us who DIDN'T take their home equity, silver, antiques and coin collections.
OB passed 11 years ago, but the will pre-dated his death and I have to say, that it rankled in my soul that he could be so greedy and STILL inherit the same as the rest of us.
It's less than $10K a piece, but he had bilked mom and dad of almost $200K.
Your sibling has no legal reason to share the insurance proceeds with you. If as you say the policy was set up a long time ago, was it done when you and your other sibling were minors? In which case it makes sense.
No one is obligated to provide care to their parents, or visit etc. Even two siblings who were raised in the same home can have very different upbringings and feelings about providing care. It does not mean one is right and the other wrong.
I have been free of resentment and contact for 40 years and I'm grateful that I took the high road. When we carry the burden of hate, we weigh ourselves down and set limitations on our happiness: don't do that!
BTW I have nothing to do with my brother; I don’t want someone like that in my life regardless that we’re related.