Half of my family is in New York and the other half is in North Carolina.
My mom is having 87, she wheelchair bound but she still manages to make it back and forth to NY and NC.
We would like her to settle down in North Carolina because there are more of us here to help take care of her but she will lose her supplemental prescription help (Epic) if she lives down here.
She has several very expensive prescriptions for COPD and heart issues.
She really needs help with hygiene and physical therapy. She has fallen several times and she is incapable of getting into the shower. Her doctor in New York gave her a prescription for both but she won't start the PT until she can get help with her hygiene. My brother said the home care up there was only taking patients that have Medicaid.
We believe that she may be able to qualify for Medicaid but it's so overwhelming trying to figure out where to start.
She doesn't have the money to pay for an Elder Care lawyer.
Where do we start?
My brother thinks that she should apply for SSI disability which he says will automatically qualify her for Medicaid.
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She misses us when she's on New York and she misses them when she's here.
I am answer that she is still able to do it but right now this is what works for her.
We are hoping to eventually have her settle down here.
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I think barb is right. Do research in both locations and see which one has the services that best meet her needs.
Be sure and check the residency requirements. Medicaid is state administered and you must be a resident of that state to be eligible for assistance.
She isn't going to be able to have services through Medicaid in both places. No more sharing 3 on/3 off. Keep this in mind when researching what is available.
If it is getting to be to much, have you guys considered one month each? That gives all of you a 2 month respite between turns and still allows you to help mom stay out of a long term facility.
Best of luck getting this sorted out. This is one of those challenging situations that occurs when help lives in different states, that none of us ever consider until we run into the wall.
It is very tiring for her just getting in the car to go to the doctor.
I was thinking I might ask my sister to move in with me. My house is big enough for all of us.
That way we could split the time caring for my mom. I work second shift and my sister works from home.
I am sure my sister would be opposed to the idea because she lived with me for a while several years ago and it didn't work out. At the time she was drinking heavily and not working and we didn't charge her anything to stay with us.
Now she is in a much better place and I am trying to figure out if that is something that we can work it out.
I can take care of my mom during the day and she can take care of her in the evenings.
It is very draining on whoever she is staying with at the time. This each of us could get a little bit of a break.
Maybe a referral from your doctor can get her aids through medicare. I would seek professional advice ASAP.
She needs help NOW, wherever she is and brother is getting bad info.
They BOTH need to investigate what is available where and decide, based on that.
Is mom in NYS or NYC? Have your brother contact HIS local Area Agency on Aging to ask about getting her qualified for Community Medicaid, a bath aid and other services while YOU work on NC.
I would first find out if its even feasible for Mom to come to NC. Do you have to establish residency before you can apply for Medicaid or any County services. Njs prescription help is PADD can she get anything like that in NC? She has Medicare which goes from state to state but what about her secondary insurance? NC may not except it.
Medicaid for health she maybe able to get if she fits the criteria. In my State it covers hospitals, drs, vision, dental and precriptions.
She cannot get Social Security Disability once she turned 65. Her disabilities are now age related and she is already receiving SS. She maybe able to get SSI which is a supplimental income. What you need to do in both states is go to the County Social Service office and see what she is entitled to.
IMO if Mom cannot get into a shower to bathe, she is no longer independent. Her falls are another problem. She should either go to an Assisted Living if she can afford it or Longterm care if she can get Medicaid. Medicaid in all aspects is not a given. You need to show a need. If you bring her to NC you are going to have to care for her or place her. She cannot live alone anymore.
You are going to have to bite the bullet and file for community Medicaid, once she lands. Because Medicaid doesn't cross state lines.
Just curious, she can afford to be a Snowbird but, can't afford several hundred dollars to speak to a CELA?
I simply mean that she goes back and forth. She's in NC for 3 months. Then she's in NY for 3 months. She is not maintaining 2 homes.
One of us will drive her back and forth.
When she is in New York she lives with my brother. When she is in North Carolina she stays with me or my sister.
She can not be left alone. She is wheelchair bound.