How do I deal with incontinence? Some days I feel like I am living in a litter box!
DH is in mid stage dementia and limited mobility. His incontinence is getting worse. He sometimes can tell he needs "to go" but most often not. Every piece of furniture has been "christened" and I am doing laundry daily. I am at a loss.
The extra large ones 30x36 are good for bed liners; the smaller ones for chairs and such.
Get DH on a toileting schedule; take him to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork, even if he says he doesn't have to go. When dementia is at play, the signal to the brain can get damaged, making him unaware of the need to go, making the urgency feeling disappear.
If things get very bad and he's taking off the night time Depends, put him in an anti-strip suit for sleeping;
Learn all you can about dementia if you are planning to keep DH home with you for long term; read this article which is EXCELLENT; a free 33 pg download called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin.
And The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease and Other Dementias; it's written in a reference type format which is very easy for looking specific things up quickly when you're faced with a question you haven't a clue about.
Your husband and furniture might benefit from using a condom catheter. It is non-evasive and does not involve surgery or trained nursing staff to change. I don't know how far progressed he is in his dementia. You may have to dress him in different clothing to prevent him gaining access to the condom catheter because they are easily removed. As for the furniture. You can protect it by getting some of those waterproof quilted cloth bed pads. They're available online. I had a client who was totally incontinent both ways. we literally used dog training pads on the couch and chair cushions with folded sheet on top of them. Worked perfectly and protected the furniture.
“You may want to talk to your husband’s urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.”
— i know someone who has a permanent catheter (also called suprapubic. it’s a tube that goes into the stomach, instead of private part of body) (permanent catheter means small operation: make a hole in stomach to insert tube).
the person i know: it worked out very well. now they just need to worry about incontinence kaka (adult diaper)
i want to warn:
the permanent tube/catheter must be changed every 2 months.
this procedure is risky. normally goes fine. but get a very competent urologist.
if a mistake is made, the person can get a big urine infection, even sepsis.
drink lots of water for some days, after every catheter change.
My husband only had to have his supra pubic catheter changed every 4 months per his urologist. And you definitely want someone who knows what they're doing to change it, as I discovered that not all nurses are trained in how to change it, or if they are they just don't get enough practice with them to be comfortable doing it.
I admire you people for serving as caregivers of the elderly without any training or experience. Love isn't enough, you need the "know how". I understand that it becomes the only choice when the old person has no resources to be placed in an appropriate facility. Under those circumstances, just do the best you can and don't worry about your mistakes. I give you all the credit for your incredible work done some times, under the worst conditions. I'm not a caregiver. I'm an 89 year-old man who expects to never become a burden to my family. Luckily, I still take care of myself. My only hope is to leave this world as quickly as possible without making too much noise. I don't want my children to be in your shoes.
My husband when he was alive had horrible issues with incontinence, having to go every hour on the hour 24/7. His urologist prescribed many of the bladder control medications, but they never worked. His urologist also tried putting Botox in his bladder as that sometimes helps calm the bladder down, but that didn't work for my husband either. So it was at that point, because my husband was slowing down and very unsteady on his feet that his doctor recommended that he have a supra pubic(permanent)catheter put in, which we agreed to. That was a Godsend for sure, as now I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. You may want to talk to your husbands urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not. But until then, make sure that you have several waterproof pads under him while he's in bed and also anywhere he sits during the day, and that you are also putting a pad/guard in whatever type diapers you use for him, to help soak up the pee. And if he is also incontinent with pooping, make sure that you have a bedside commode handy to wherever he is, so he doesn't have to travel far. It was only after my husband became completely bedridden that I then had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode as I couldn't lift him myself, so he could poop. That worked out well for us both. I wish you the very best as I know how hard this is for you.
If you Google "continence care" you'll get results for suppliers of all kinds of helpful products - not only pads and pull-ups for him to wear, but washable or disposable protective covers for furniture, mattresses, etc. Most of the reputable suppliers also have useful advice pages, too, to help you choose what would best suit his needs.
Have you not been given any support at all with this by his healthcare team???
Is it just urinary incontinence or is he having bowel accidents too?
What sort of clothes does he prefer to wear?
Once in the bathroom, is he still able to manage if he's in time?
7 Answers
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https://www.amazon.com/s?k=men%27s+incontinence+pads&crid=PKNTZSXQ5CDY&sprefix=men%27s+incon%2Caps%2C192&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_11
Use Medline Extrasorbs chuck pads on all of the furniture DH sits on to prevent leakage. These pads absorb A LOT of liquid.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=extrasorbs&crid=3VEIKKO08A2LH&sprefix=extrasorbs%2Caps%2C173&ref=nb_sb_noss
The extra large ones 30x36 are good for bed liners; the smaller ones for chairs and such.
Get DH on a toileting schedule; take him to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork, even if he says he doesn't have to go. When dementia is at play, the signal to the brain can get damaged, making him unaware of the need to go, making the urgency feeling disappear.
If things get very bad and he's taking off the night time Depends, put him in an anti-strip suit for sleeping;
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+anti+strip+suit+mens&crid=2TWU8KC7K5DRB&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+suit+mens%2Caps%2C1391&ref=nb_sb_noss
Learn all you can about dementia if you are planning to keep DH home with you for long term; read this article which is EXCELLENT; a free 33 pg download called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin.
And The 36 Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease and Other Dementias; it's written in a reference type format which is very easy for looking specific things up quickly when you're faced with a question you haven't a clue about.
https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/1421441713/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2YHAE5YKXJQSS&keywords=the+36+hour+day+paperback+latest+edition&qid=1646696534&sprefix=thge+36+hour+day%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-4
Alz.org is the Alzheimer's website which has a ton of info & an 800 number to call to speak to a real live human being about concerns & questions.
Learn all you can about AD/dementia b/c knowledge is power!
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.
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It is non-evasive and does not involve surgery or trained nursing staff to change. I don't know how far progressed he is in his dementia. You may have to dress him in different clothing to prevent him gaining access to the condom catheter because they are easily removed.
As for the furniture. You can protect it by getting some of those waterproof quilted cloth bed pads. They're available online. I had a client who was totally incontinent both ways. we literally used dog training pads on the couch and chair cushions with folded sheet on top of them. Worked perfectly and protected the furniture.
i agree with funkygrandma. this is an option:
“You may want to talk to your husband’s urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.”
—
i know someone who has a permanent catheter (also called suprapubic. it’s a tube that goes into the stomach, instead of private part of body) (permanent catheter means small operation: make a hole in stomach to insert tube).
the person i know:
it worked out very well.
now they just need to worry about incontinence kaka (adult diaper)
i want to warn:
the permanent tube/catheter must be changed every 2 months.
this procedure is risky. normally goes fine. but get a very competent urologist.
if a mistake is made, the person can get a big urine infection, even sepsis.
drink lots of water for some days, after every catheter change.
And you definitely want someone who knows what they're doing to change it, as I discovered that not all nurses are trained in how to change it, or if they are they just don't get enough practice with them to be comfortable doing it.
You may want to talk to your husbands urologist about some kind of catheter, either permanent or not.
But until then, make sure that you have several waterproof pads under him while he's in bed and also anywhere he sits during the day, and that you are also putting a pad/guard in whatever type diapers you use for him, to help soak up the pee.
And if he is also incontinent with pooping, make sure that you have a bedside commode handy to wherever he is, so he doesn't have to travel far. It was only after my husband became completely bedridden that I then had to hire an aide to come every morning to put him on the bedside commode as I couldn't lift him myself, so he could poop. That worked out well for us both.
I wish you the very best as I know how hard this is for you.
Have you not been given any support at all with this by his healthcare team???
Is it just urinary incontinence or is he having bowel accidents too?
What sort of clothes does he prefer to wear?
Once in the bathroom, is he still able to manage if he's in time?