Morning all
I've posted a few times here. My lovely dad is currently still in hospital after a vagal episode which seemed much more like a seizure, after sleeping 22 hours for 10 days and suspected UTI. was initially fit for discharge last weekend by hospital kept him in a little longer to work on postural hypotension and are setting up an mri to check for vascular dementia, ct showed age decline
dad is 87 mum is 83 main carer with me supporting as much as I can (there everyday, only child) and carers coming in 4 times a day (2 of those are for 10-15 mins to help with catheter care and going to bed, longer in the morning for dressing and bathing) S worker has concerns about mum coping as she is incredibly anxious and getting thinner every day.
told about respite by nurses yesterday and ok. He saw us and broke down. It broke me, I hate the idea of him being upset and somewhere he doesn’t know but my mum needs a break and doing it now seems an easier route than getting him home and him refusing again (SW said when he refused if he goes into hospital for anything we will grab it then as it will be easier to get him to go from hospital)
under reenablement pathway in uk it is funded for up to 4 weeks but they will be assessing him to see if he needs to be in a home longer term. SW says don’t get caught up in the paperwork side - you’re getting up to 4 weeks respite. He can still come home and if he really hates it he can come home earlier
mum is determined to take the respite. She is getting frailer through being worn out, and has been dealing with dads declining health for 3 years. I know have to consider both my parents here and probably toughen up a bit. My OH says he needs to be in a care home for a few weeks for everyone to have a break; I’ve offered to have dad here, OH says that’s not the answer SW says the same and mum mentioned this to dad and he said no.
So I rang last night to see how dad was doing and they’d told me he has high potassium and have put him on IV fluids. He has CKD stage 3b for about 18 month been stable at egfr 35, but went down to 26 in December after multiple UTIs monthly blood tests to monitor. this is his second iv in 9 days so his egfr is now 44 but potassium was high.
I was surprised by this - his kidney function is up but not clearing the potassium,
any advice is greatly appreciated, about kidneys, potassium - and my guilt!
xxxx
2 Answers
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First
It’s the first time I’ve done this and knowing it’s “normal” to feel like this really helps. I’ll do one day at a time
take care xx
As for placing him in respite care - I can guarantee that almost nobody jumps for joy at the prospect of placing a loved on in a care home either temporarily or permanently, but these places exist because there are people whose needs are just too great and/or complex for any one or two caregivers to handle at home. Take it all one day at a time and encourage him to do the same.
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