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Becky45 Asked February 2022

What or how can I get my husband to eat?

My husband 64 and is in 9th year of early onset dementia. he has stoped liking the foods he use to eat and doesn't like any hard foods or crispy like fried chicken acts like he can't chew. But of course he will eat most all sweets. Also he has started using his hands to eat with. Any ideas?

Grandma1954 Feb 2022
Finger foods that you would give a toddler might be a good option.
And if he is not chewing you just might have to switch to pureed foods. Or other soft foods or if not pureed then finely minced.
Set his place with just a spoon and encourage the use of the spoon. But if he will not use it then fingers are fine if that is what it takes to get him to eat.
And a side note just like with a toddler any round food should be cut in half (hot dogs, grapes, and the like so that a piece can not get lodged in the throat.)
I eliminated real slippery food so that it would not slide the wrong way. Things like peaches, nectarine, it took one time for a piece of peach to slide down the wrong way for me to eliminate things like that. The last thing you need to deal with is Aspiration Pneumonia.

AnnReid Feb 2022
Sweeten the foods he WILL attempt. My mother lived on white bread and jelly sandwiches soaked in fruit flavored full fat yoghurt for several months before she passed. As long as he is eating nourishing foods when they’re sweetened, anything with added sweetening is FINE.

If possible stop buying/offering him empty calorie “sweets”. There are many types of sweet flavored foods, or foods that CAN be sweetened, that contain protein and some vitamins and minerals.

If he likes the taste, honey and REAL maple syrup are a little more nourishing than plain sugar.

Let him eat with his hands, especially when your goal is to get food into him.

Investigate the use of THC with his doctors.

He is lucky to have you.

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PeggySue2020 Feb 2022
An option (controversial I know) would be with a doctor's advice try some low-thc gummies. MIL regained her appetite that way and continues to ask us for them.

Mek2466 Feb 2022
Becky, you’re doing a great job. Regarding his bowel issue. Would adult disposable underwear/diapers work? There are also devices that are like little ultrasounds that stick to his belly that measure bladder fullness and send you an alert on your phone when it’s close to full. I think they have one for bowels also. https://www.dfreeus.biz/ Japanese company
as for soft foods creamy peanut butter and jelly/honey grilled or on soft white bread. Egg salad (bread n butter pickles gives a sweet flavor) is soft or deviled eggs. Mac and cheese or mashed potatoes. Just have wet wipes close by. Wishing you strength on your journey. It’s not easy.
Becky45 Feb 2022
Thanks, I have tried the pullups a couple of times but he hates to where them and want put them on now. But I told him if he messes up pants again he has to where them.(pullups). I have to watch him all the time to know when he has to pee. I ask him he says no then a few minutes later he is holding himself, I have to take him to bathroom and help with pants. When we are in store I ask "do you need to pee?" He says no then 5 minutes later needs to. I take him in or get a man to help because I caught him peeing in the trash can at Lowe's, and at Burger King he didn't see toilet couldn't get clothes down in time and had messed all over pants, floor,stepped in it then came out with pants down. Fortunately there was no one in lobby and the workers were very helpful. They kept bathroom blocked while I went to car to get clean clothes. I cleaned up all the mess and him then they scrub the floor. Kind of funny now. But don't want to have any more mishaps like that. I ask him every morning to sit on toilet to try(this use to work) but now he says no. Anyway thanks for information. I like to read all I can to see it's not just me going through this
ACaringDaughter Feb 2022
Let him eat with his hands if he likes.

Never scold at mealtime - keep things positive.

Avoid conversations about food or meal planning.

Put on music or TV as a distraction.

Don’t overeat in any attempt to get him to eat (speaking from experience!)

Countrymouse Feb 2022
How's his oral hygiene? I expect it's becoming increasingly difficult to help him brush his teeth, so if you can manage to check that all is well in there, or ideally get a dentist to do so, it's possible there is something uncomfortable or sore that is stopping him chewing. Especially if he's preferred sweet foods for a while!

Amateur suggestions - if you can add extra eggs and milk into his diet it'll help with his protein intake. French toast cut into strips he could pick up himself, for example (just keep plenty of wet wipes near the table for when things get sticky).

It might be best to consult a dietitian if you have one nearby, or your PCP might be able to recommend one. There is also this link -

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/food-eating

- which covers the bases, only I think you're probably already doing most of it.

Remember, you can only try. I'm sorry for all you must be going through, do you have support with his care?
Becky45 Feb 2022
Thanks, he has dentures so I know its not his teeth. But he's got to where he want let me clean them. I do fix him scrambled eggs and he will eat cereal ( soft) this morning he took 30 minutes to eat rice crispies. I know it's the dementia. I need some more ideals on what to fix, finger foods. I like the french toast ideas. He loves pancakes too.
Another big problem I am having is he will not go to bathroom( #2) till he starts to go in his pants. Any suggestions?

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