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AnnHoneyDog22 Asked February 2022

My elderly mom is drinking too much alcohol to cope with her husband’s Parkinson's & how it’s changed their marriage. How to get her to stop?

againx100 Feb 2022
How much is she drinking?? Is she drunk all the time? Really acting up when she's drinking?

brandee Feb 2022
You can't stop someone from drinking. Only they can stop themself from drinking.

I'd check out AlAnon.

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AlvaDeer Feb 2022
Lealonnie is correct. You cannot stop others from drinking. Please try Al-Anon. You will find so many supportive people there, and have so many resources. It is a wonderful place for families to network together to try to help. Ultimately, if your Father's care is at risk, you may have to consider some sort of placement for protection for him. You can let your Mom know your concern, but do know she is self medicating and may be desperately unhappy if this is new or worsening behavior.

polarbear Feb 2022
Just curious AnnHoneyDog, how does your elderly mother get her booze? Does she drive herself to the store and buy it? Or someone else buys for her?
AnnHoneyDog22 Feb 2022
She’s still driving so she can buy it for herself. I have voiced my concerns twice to her but I know it’s her choice regardless thank you…
lealonnie1 Feb 2022
You cannot 'make' another adult stop drinking alcohol when she's chosen to do so, sorry to say. SHE is the one who has to WANT to stop drinking b/c she views it as a problem in order to actually stop overindulging. But she's using alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with her husband's disease, so that makes it even MORE difficult to stop!

Can you suggest that she get counseling to help her find some healthier coping mechanisms? Or join this AgingCare community and an in-person support group as well so she can stop feeling so alone with her burden? Also, maybe you can help her hire some in-home help to give her respite, all ways to cut down on her stress and thereby help her cut down on her drinking of her own free will.

Hopefully, you can find ways to help your mom find respite for her caregiving duties for her husband. If need be, placement in Assisted Living can be a consideration too if the funds are available. Offer her support in any way possible w/o coming off as though you're demanding she stop drinking. At this point in her life, she may feel like booze is her only friend, you know?

Best wishes to you and to your mom.

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