Mom's feet are swelling and she won't walk/exercise... What should I be doing?

Crock shoes are very useful, easy to wear, non-slippery. Try it!

Swelling in feet: be careful there’s no liquid retention. Serious causes of feet swelling can be: urinary retention (bladder problem), kidney problem, lung problem, or heart problem.

There can be other causes: not serious.

Because of the new posts, I thought I'd chime in.

Weary's mother had to be brought over from India because of her decline with Dementia. She was able to get a Green card but she is entitled to no services here for 5 years. No Medicare or SS because she did not pay into it. No Medicaid until she resides here 5 yrs. To answer Fawnby, her Mom has Dementia so hard to make her to comply to anything.

Inform her doctor that she’s not compliant. The doctor should take it from there. If not, ask another doctor. And if she wants to be left to her fate, that is, after all, her own choice. You might talk with her about foot amputation if you have the stomach for it. No circulation, that’s what happens. So sorry about this.

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My husband is also suffering from feet swelling and I bought him a reclining lift chair that has been very helpful. ( you could also rent one thru a medical supply store). Don’t take her against her will for testing. Elastic stockings were also ordered for him . Good luck

Perhaps a compromise?

https://www.amazon.com/Sunny-Health-Fitness-Elliptical-Frictionless/dp/B07QZHNWK8/ref=asc_df_B07QZHNWK8/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=343194339339&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10011658438419800000&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9033430&hvtargid=pla-783053263601&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=69473715059&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=343194339339&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10011658438419800000&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9033430&hvtargid=pla-783053263601

and

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074P2M8N8?&maas=maas_adg_C0D26AA9DB7453526FDF0A4FAA1EEDEE_afap_abs&ref_=aa_maas&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI783l49Wj9gIVQyitBh34Dw6dEAAYASAAEgIkqfD_BwE

Get her support socks that apply gentle pressure. Also consider sequential compress device - an electronic device that gently massages feet and lower legs so fluids move "up" towards the heart.

I am more concerned that your mother needs to see an internal medicine doctor for a thorough physical. She definitely has circulation problems in her legs, but she most likely has heart failure which can be treated with diet and medications.

wearynow: "Black-ish" feet are deemed to be a medical emergency.
Your update states that they are dark red.

Since you found out that the discoloration was not serious, you might be able to help her by doing a lymphatic massage on her. It will almost immediately reduce the swelling, and it might help to calm her down. Find a nicely scented lotion or oil. It will also help the condition of her skin.

As the swelling comes down, she might be more amenable to walking.

Thank you, dear Forum-ers, for all your replies....very good to learn from your experiences.

Get her some slippers or socks with the rubber dots on the bottom. They'll keep her feet from slipping.

They make compression socks with open toes. They help keep down the swelling and will allow her to wear sandals.

Calling 911 for a psych eval and medical eval might help in getting her placed.

Good luck getting her to walk. My mom is the same at 85 and growing weaker because she lives in her wheelchair. Her circulation is very bad & causing her blood pressure to go up. She also drinks very little and stays dehydrated.

I am not sure about toe socks but I had to get husband's aunt 93 extra large men's socks due to her feet being so wide and swollen. Just checked and Amazon does have men's toe socks!

They are adults and you cannot force them to do anything.

Dad had the same issue with needing his legs elevated. We rented a hospital bed and an electric recliner would certainly help.

Sneak fluids in her using soups, sherberts, applesauce, jello , etc. These all count as liquids. Most elderly love their soups.

Can you get her a bed that raises feet and legs? I got one for my parent and if legs or feet swelled, I could raise legs to get them higher than her torso to reduce the fluid. You might also talk to dr about a different fluid pill/diuretic to reduce swelling. My parent took a pill each morning and if still swelling, another one was allowed to be taken about 1pm or so.

So. My Mom developed swollen and purplish feet and legs after her 90th bday. It was misdiagnosed as lymphoedema and treated with leg wraps. After 4 months her legs began to have sores and weep profusely. Infection set it. ALL BECAUSE we could not get her to elevate her legs. We changed her bed, we created a place with pillows for her to rest them, but because of dementia she would not remember or would not do it. After 6 weeks in hospital to treat acute infection of her lower legs and rehab a Vein Dr. diagnosed her with venous stasis. Inability of the veins to get the blood up the legs. ELEVATION IS CRITICAL.
We purchased an electric recliner that slowly helps her to recline and elevate her legs and this is going somewhat well. It took Since last September to get her to agree to elevate her legs. It's hard, but you just have to keep reminding her. I put signs up all around her room.

Folks, the OP has provided an update with positive news.   Check the post that's ninth down from this post.  

She already has doctor's advice.

She seems to have some dementia and it is possible she has peripheral artery disease (like I have) in which the vascular system no longer works and the swelling is beyond horrible. Soon her skin will crack open and she will have open wounds that won't heal. You need to see a vascular specialist at once. She may have to be forced to wear compression garments and velcro wraps - if not, prepare for the worst - not a nice picture.

It’s important to have her checked out by her doctor. My mom has the same issue but her bloodwork revealed a severe protein deficit. It’s important to not simply take the advice of others. Please get her checked out.

Well--wow, that's something new on this site. Dry skin! Probably made worse by not moving and keeping circulation going. I lotioned up my FIL's legs at the EOL for him. His skin was like paper. The lotion didn't have any magical powers, but it did feel good for him and maybe helped keep his skin more moisturized. IDK.

You got 'lucky' on that, probably thinking she was going to wind up a double amputee and simply being prescribed lotion!!

I get it, though. The immobility does cause her skin to be swell and can make already tender feet much worse. Circulatory problems become more pronounced. Mom hasn't got CHF or kidney issues, but she is so immobile her feet are always very swollen. She makes a point of wearing thick socks 24/7 and can't get into any shoes...but she's 92 and in poor health. She can walk about 200 steps a day and that's it. She also is severely dehydrated all the time and there is nothing I can do to encourage her to drink more. 6 oz of coffee at breakfast, then a 12 oz bottle of Coke that lasts her the rest of the day. I have long since quit trying to encourage her to drink more. Even a quart of water would make us all happy. But she has urinary incontinence and she keeps as little fluid in her as she possibly can.

And of course she states that she drinks ice water all day, and once I opened her freezer and said "Oh, ice water made with these magical ice cubes? (ALL the ice trays were empty and obviously had been for ages).

We have to pick our battles with our elders. This is not the hill I wish to die on, so I ignore her when I can tell she's obviously dehydrated, which is always.

Crocs might work or medi-ped socks in a large/x-large size. My 88 year old mom's feet are also swollen. We give her Lasix.

Hi Weary, the same thing happened to my dad. I bought him a lift chair on Amazon
to sit in that has a remote to lift the feet. I would get his feet up at least 4 hours a day and slather lotion on legs and feet. He would often fall asleep when chair was back giving his feet an extra hour to be up. His feet went from sausages to regular feet very quickly. We all chipped in on the lift chair.

Hi. Would your mom consent to a nice foot soak? Don't tell her it's for her health, pose it as a nice spa day. Add plenty of Epsom salt to the water then massage her feet. That will help the circulation.
Speaking of salt, she'll have to limit her salt intake, as it causes swelling.
Add turmeric and cayenne pepper to her diet, as they have natural antiinflammatory agents. Additionally, magnesium supplements and foods high in magnesium like almonds, spinach, tofu, cashews, and broccoli. Also foods like bananas that are high in potassium will help.
Buy her compression socks and tell her she is NOT to walk around in them, they are for when she is sitting and sleeping only, and she should remove them before walking around to prevent slipping and falling. Just wearing them will help.
If she won't get up and move, perhaps she will do some stretches and leg lifts? Any movement of her legs is helpful, she doesn't have to actually get up if she's that resistant. She can do knee raises, different forms of leg lifts, and many exercises with resistance bands.
Finally, inspire her! Show her videos of Ernestine Shepherd, the over 80 year old woman who still works out and does bodybuilding. Put some light hand weights near her chair. Put on her favorite dance music and see what happens. She might just get up and dance!
Also, plenty of water! 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Good luck to you and your mom!

does your mom have heart failure ie that can cause the edema...my mom is 90 and i have to weigh her daily and if she retains water and gains a few pounds, i give her a diuretic. does your mom have any other medical conditions that can contribute to swelling. also, reduce salt and elevate legs...my mom last month had a hematoma and gout(first time for both) on left foot - her foot was swollen, all black and in lots of pain - she had the ultrasound since she is diabetic as well....looks like veins are ok...she has hematoma probably from blood thinner......its very scary to see a foot like that..my grandmother had both legs amputated at 90!

UPDATE: I took mom to her Dr today. The blackish skin is actually dark reddish color due to v v v dry skin. Mom has never applied lotion to her feet at all in the last 10 years for sure. The Dr has prescribed lachydrin lotion 12% (for 3 months daily) and also compression socks for the swelling. There is some "vein insufficiency" but the Dr is not worried about it. Mom went quite nuts in the Dr office and kept asking "is she going to operate on me" when the Dr kept saying it's severe dry skin.

Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts - much appreciated!

My mother had venular insufficiency in her legs (result of pregnancy 5 decades previously) that would cause her ankles and feet to swell in spite of her excellent heart health and daily walks. Doctor recommended she keep her feet up when sitting and stop on any trips about every hour to hour and a half to walk around for 5 minutes.

Weary, I hope all is well. Been thinking about you and mom all day.

For blackish feet I'd call 911 and let the EMT's evaluate and let them take her to hospital.

Blackish feet may indicate amputation is required.

WearyNow,

1.    You've asked that this thread be closed.   If you still want that to happen, contact the Admins.    On the right hand side at the bottom of this page is an "About Aging Care" link.   That takes you to a small dialog box which you can use to contact the Admins directly.

2.    If and before the thread is closed, I'd like to offer a suggestion for someone who doesn't want to walk.   My father used a small pedaler, similar to bike pedals, but which could be used for arms if placed and weighted down on a table, and is like bicycling when placed on the floor.  He sat in his chair and listened to music, and pedaled, and pedaled until he hit his goal.

They look like this, and can be bought online, or in DME shops:

https://www.ebay.com/itm/265510993768?hash=item3dd1b03f68:g:lNAAAOSwW~NgWr7V

Some of the catalogues with a variety of stuff ranging from kitchen goods to medical ones also sell these.  Dad bought his several years ago for about $15.

3.   I have a feeling your mother wouldn't cooperate, but if you can create some kind of relaxation event, with music, perhaps a special treat before or after, you might be able to encourage her.  If you can think of some way to "bribe" her, that could be effective.

4.    Otherwise, I'm with others that the blackish feet are a red flag and demand immediate medical attention, whether Mom agrees or not.  Are there any men in the family who could influence her?  (Sometimes folks from other countries are more receptive to men than women.)

Good luck; I can't imagine how difficult and challenging this is for you.