My brother has POA and he won’t let me go see my dad who is in a care home. What can I do?

I agree that you just show up. Try to go at a time when you think your brother or other family members won't be there. If they have a sign-in sheet, don't sign in or scribble so that it is illegible. If the staff comes into the room while you're there, don't tell them who you are (and hopefully your dad won't tell them either). During your visit you may want to video him saying endearing or appreciative things to you like how happy he is to see you. Don't put anything on social media. If your dad has a medical diagnosis cognitive decline and your brother the PoA finds out you've been there he may get more legally aggressive in trying to keep you away. I don't know if he can get a restraining or against you simply for having married someone of the "wrong" religion but it can still make your life miserable. There may be the option for family mediation with your brother so that he stops barring you. May you succeed in visiting him and gain peace in your heart.

There are things that can be done, but tread gently.

As far as the law and everyone involved in it are concerned, what matters is what your father wants and what is good for him. So your wanting to spend time with him isn't the point - it's about *his* right to see you, and to spend time with you.

Just say, for example, hypothetically, that a person with dementia has better long-term memory; and that visits from a family member stir up upsetting memories that leave him distressed after the visit is over. That kind of situation (I'm not saying this is what happens with your father, mind) could be a valid reason to restrict or ban visits from that particular family member.

Where (I mean in what state or country - AgingCare has forum members all over the world) are you and your father living? I'm asking because there are huge differences in how services for older people are managed, but there almost always is some kind of system for checking that their rights are being protected, and maybe we could help you find out what your next steps might be.

Has the home said you're not allowed to visit?

Just show up. I've never known a facility to bar someone from visiting unless there is a police/court order in place restricting access.