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Fruitcup Asked March 2022

My mother insists on wearing a bra, but she has trouble when dressing. Is there a tool to use to help with this?

She has a bad shoulder and cannot have surgery at 95 years old. I bought a front closing type, but now she has trouble getting both sides together.

AinSeattle Mar 2022
@fruitcup

Possibly these

https://www.amazon.com/Underworks-Arthritis-Hook-Loop-Closure/dp/B001L1KKQG/ref=asc_df_B001L1KKQG/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312345808475&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8437574496443340306&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021088&hvtargid=pla-570662597238&psc=1

or

https://www.amerimark.com/apparel/intimates/bras/snap-front-close-comfort-bra/180575.html?afsrc=1&media=PAP0123&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhJb90KnM9gIVK2tvBB2jfAMxEAQYBSABEgI9o_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

though with the snaps, if hooks are a problem, snaps may be too.

JoAnn29 Mar 2022
What about the one piece bras. I step into mine and pull them up.

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AinSeattle Mar 2022
Ahhh...the never-ending bra conundrum...

First it was the bras didn't fit.
Then it was the bras were broken.
Then it was I needed new bras. Everyone from family to friends to the neighbor down the street brought her bras. She complains to anyone who will listen. LOL
Then it was the new bras needed taken back because they were the wrong fit.
Then it was the new bras (all white) were the wrong color.
Then it was the bras need to be a different style but front clasp and sports bras [and I quote] "aren't real bras".
And finally, last, with drawers full of bras, the complaint was why won't anyone help me get me bras that work?

After explaining, showing, and begging our LO to skip the d#!n bra, our answer ad-nauseum became, "figure it out for yourself" or do without.

FWIW, I'm biased. For medical reasons, I personally have not been able to wear one for years, and life goes on with or without bras. We've got bigger battles to deal with including and not limited to the guardianship, finances, safety, paranoia, hallucinations, memory care move, and delusions.

She is doing without!

:-)

They make a bandeau bra that you can actually slide over your LO's head and then past her arm and then bring it back up for support. They come in lined and unlined varieties. That might work.

MJ1929 Mar 2022
My mom, too, insisted on wearing a bra until she went into memory care. They pretty much said, "No, we're not doing that now," and that was that. Since there was no bra on the planet to fit a 90-year-old missing one breast and the other shaped like an empty ziploc bag, this was the perfect solution.

Just say no more and move on to another topic.
lealonnie1 Mar 2022
My mother would not hear of NOT wearing a bra in Memory Care; that was not an option under any circumstances! It was a resident right to demand to wear one, so the family was responsible to find one that worked.
Fruitcup Mar 2022
Tried sports bra but mom can’t lift one arm up. Thanks again
bundleofjoy Mar 2022
hi fruitcup! :)

i hope you find good solutions! :)

i just wanted to say, i love your name. “fruitcup” is very cute.
lealonnie1 Mar 2022
PS: In case a sports bra won't work, for whatever reason, here is a link to a bra aid called the Bra Angel that assists a person with putting one on:

https://www.thewrightstuff.com/bra-angel-dressing-aid.html#:~:text=The%20Bra%20Angel%20Dressing%20Aid,is%20easily%20adjusted%20to%20size.
Fruitcup Mar 2022
This may be my answer.
lealonnie1 Mar 2022
In my experience with an elderly mother & an ONGOING issue with ALL hook bras, the answer is to get a bunch of sports bras with NO hooks. In a larger than normal size. They don't shrink, they don't bunch up, they don't require dexterity to put on, they're PERFECT. After many many trips back & forth to Kohl's where I would literally buy 20 different bras (all with hooks) and bring them to mom to have her try on, she'd pick out 3 or 4 to keep; I'd schlep the rest back to Kohl's for a refund. Honest to God within 10 days, all the new bras were NO GOOD for one reason or another, but usually b/c the 'hooks were bent'! After my blood pressure came back down to Earth again, I'd go back on a wild goose chase for bras for mother. And back down the rabbit hole we'd go AGAIN. And again and again.

Until God whispered in my ear one day, SPORTS BRAS.

And that's when the insanity ended, once and for all, thanks be to God.

I found about 12 nice sports bras at Target one day in XL, all on sale *YESSSSSSS*, bought every single one, drove them over to mom at the Memory Care, and never heard another word about 'bent hooks' again. Even the caregivers were in awe of the lack of complaints coming from JoAnn's mouth forevermore.
againx100 Mar 2022
Good to know. Guess that's what I'll be doing too!
againx100 Mar 2022
Good question. I have been scouring the internet for bras that could work for my mom that is very inflexible and can't hook her bras. I don't think the front closure would work. I bought one pullover one that seems ok, as long as it doesn't shrink. I've wondered about a tight but stretchy tank top?

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