My mother took to flipping the bird at my dad which just about made him come unglued. Neither of them ever swore a day in their life before dementia came to Mom, and it was tough to deal with.
Dementia in general is a very difficult affliction for caregivers and loved ones to deal with. When an elder gets upset & starts cussing, it's more about how YOU deal with HIM that matters in getting him to calm down.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:
The “Dont's” · Do not reason and argue · Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve · Do not demand that they remember · Do not demand that they get their facts straight · Do not correct their ideas or scold them · Do not reorient them · Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose · Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to · Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care · Do not act with impatience
The "Do's" · Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world' · Be aware of their mood or state of mind · Use few words and simple phrases · OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions · Do everything slowly · Approach from the front · Wait for a slow response · Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK' · Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment · Maximize use of remaining abilities · Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real · Maintain privacy · Provide a safe physical environment
Language Needs · Use short words · Use clear and simple sentences · Speak slowly and calmly · Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer · Talk about one thing at a time · Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas · Use common phrases · Always say what you are doing · If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information · Wait patiently for a response · Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words · Speak softly, soothingly and gently
Care Needs · Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive · Reassure with your tone and manner · Do one thing at a time · Talk through the care “play-by- play” · Talk through the care “play-by- play” · Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance · Be sincere · Use a soft, soothing touch · Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers · Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them · They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression” · If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia because the person with the disease cannot.
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin. Learn all you can about AD/dementia b/c knowledge is power!
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.
These "filters" are located in the fronto-temporal areas of the brain. They get damaged in fronto-temporal dementia and in vascular dementia. It's not only limited to the inability to filter foul language, but foul behavior too. The brain can be compared with a computer. Once the CPU is damaged, it become useless. I don't know why, this is something many caregivers refuse to accept. Some even think that loving care or medicines will repair the broken CPU. Others, take to heart the unfiltered words of a demented person. A person with dementia is no different than a computer with a broken CPU. In the case of an inoperable computer, you just throw it away and buy a new one. In case of a person with dementia you have no choice, but to watch it until it falls apart completely and nothing of that person is left. That's why it's so painful.
Loss of filters is common. My dad didn’t have dementia but still had the loss of filters. My beloved former teacher, a very prim lady, told me when I saw her again at 90, that she was enjoying the age of saying whatever she wanted. It was a shocking difference. Maybe one day we’ll be spouting out inappropriate, rude things. Hopefully we’ll be treated with compassion
There is just a ton of things on the internet about this very common phenomenon, so have fun looking it all up. It isn't unusual in dementia and can also be common in some strokes affecting some areas of the brain. I don't know how many stroke patients I had as a nurse who sat just swearing a blue streak with the poor embarrassed family sitting there saying "He never said a swear word in his LIFE". You might start with the link to this short informative article:
https://www.verywellhealth.com/foul-language-and-dementia-97610. I wish you luck dealing with this, but just do know that there is often little to be done about it, and ignoring it may be the best route. Wishing you good luck.
My Husband had dementia and he never swore and never swore during the time I cared for him. The question is sort of like Why do all girls like pink? or Why does everyone like their beef well done? Not everyone likes their beef well done, not all girls like pink and not all those with dementia swear. Dementia does drop filters that people have had to live in "normal" society. You don't pee in public, you do not walk into strangers houses, you do not fondle yourself in public, you don't swear. These are all things that people that have been in my Support Group have experienced with their loved ones. When dementia effects the brain it can damage some parts and not others. This is why one person with dementia may lose the ability to talk while another will swear and another will become violent.
7 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
https://youtu.be/u5QMeQpkPhA
Teepa Snow has other videos that address this topic. You may want to investigate what she has to offer on YouTube.
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https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-and-undesirable-behavior-changes-how-do-i-handle-dads-profanity-112079.htm
Dementia in general is a very difficult affliction for caregivers and loved ones to deal with. When an elder gets upset & starts cussing, it's more about how YOU deal with HIM that matters in getting him to calm down.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download)
which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and
what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:
The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience
The "Do's"
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every
moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly
real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment
Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the
first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently
Care Needs
· Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive
· Reassure with your tone and manner
· Do one thing at a time
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate
relaxation and reassurance
· Be sincere
· Use a soft, soothing touch
· Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers
· Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge
whether a situation is threatening to them
· They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending
themselves with what we call “aggression”
· If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time
to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away
You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia
because the person with the disease cannot.
Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey
Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin. Learn all
you can about AD/dementia b/c knowledge is power!
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/foul-language-and-dementia-97610.
I wish you luck dealing with this, but just do know that there is often little to be done about it, and ignoring it may be the best route.
Wishing you good luck.
The question is sort of like Why do all girls like pink? or Why does everyone like their beef well done?
Not everyone likes their beef well done, not all girls like pink and not all those with dementia swear.
Dementia does drop filters that people have had to live in "normal" society.
You don't pee in public, you do not walk into strangers houses, you do not fondle yourself in public, you don't swear. These are all things that people that have been in my Support Group have experienced with their loved ones.
When dementia effects the brain it can damage some parts and not others. This is why one person with dementia may lose the ability to talk while another will swear and another will become violent.