Adult children and grandchildren from out-of-state want to visit my wife in memory care. Any suggestions from experience?

My MILs MC had the ability to set aside a small room and we could all eat a meal together there,, kept the kids busy and she was used to groups at meals. It always went well, as she didn't have to leave and we could when she got tired. She loved showing off her family even if she didn;t always know all of them!

Does the place have an outside area where you can set up a small picnic? Then if your wife gets anxious or tired you can take her inside. Really 8 people descending on a MC unit may be too much for the other residents. Are the children old enough to know how to act? Residents usually love kids but not if the are unruly. The adults have to realize when its time to go.

Does your out-of-state family understand how your wife will be when they visit? Do they understand she may not remember them fully or how she acts when she's unsettled? If not, I'd maybe take some video to send them or have some FaceTime calls with her so they and the kids have tempered expectations.

I agree with Frebrowser that meeting in small groups may be a good tactic and to ask the staff for suggestions. I also think that if the facility is having any events or activities that day, all could participate with her at that, especially if the visit is in the afternoon. Or, maybe you can have a simple "fun" activity with her, like balloon volleyball, a simple craft, a visit with a pet, etc. something you know she's done before and likes. I hope it is a wonderful visit for all!

I'd trust your instinct about what is likely to unsettle her.

The idea of multiple small group visits is a good one.

Is there a time of day that works better than others for her so you can schedule her when she's likely to be at her best? I would imagine that evening/sundown is not a good time for many.

Is there a group activity room that you could use where she is staying? Maybe something with three or four tables for two to four people to be at each while waiting for their turn to visit at her table? Maybe take the kids to the park to burn off some energy before the visit and have an activity for them to work at at their table? Have it all set up so she can be the last to arrive while everyone else is in their places. If she is used to group activities in the room, she might be less stressed about the differing members of the group. And there wouldn't be any commotion about getting in and out of the car to get there.

Ask the staff if they have any suggestions.