Anyone have experience with a hiatal hernia?

I have a sliding hiatal hernia caused by a coughing fit during an asthma attack several years ago. Shortly after I developed the hernia, I had some problems where I regurgitated food when I didn't chew it well, mostly with steak or other meats while I was talking with someone and not paying attention. I haven't had that problem in several years or any other symptoms but my doctor still advises I get a surgical repair. My problem with this is I am concerned with the surgical risk of respiratory distress, the most common complication of the surgery. My father's first cousin had this surgery as an emergency repair after she had a problem with the invasion of the chest and died after she stopped breathing, suffered cardiac arrest, was resuscitated but had brain death. I feel her death was caused to a degree by a lack of proper attention by the hospital staff. Although respiratory distress is a complication for the first 48 hours after surgery, the monitors were removed after 37 hours and she was discovered unconscious by the nurses on a round.

I'm concerned about having a surgery I don't apparently really need yet, but I don't want to put it off until it's an emergency either. The doctor says I have no chest intrusion showing on scans but I have scar tissue around my esophagus and some future coughing with my asthma may reopen or cause the problem to reoccur.

On one hand, I know physically the sooner I have the surgery is probably better. At this point in my life I will probably never be stronger or more capable of enduring the surgery. On the other hand, I have three boys who are still emotionally attached to me and are only 7, 13, and 17 years old. The 13 year old with dyslexia probably needs me the most to encourage him and help him through reading assignments in college like I helped his father. He reads better at 13 than his father did and has had As and Bs on recent grade cards so maybe he won't need me by the time he enters college. Delaying the surgery by another 10 years would put us past that risk and I would be 68, still a reasonable age to expect recovery.

Any advice would be appreciated. I wonder if I'm just building an argument to delay because of my fears or for a real reason. Currently I am delaying because the nurses are so overworked from covid but someday that should clear.