I am helping my almost 93-year-old aunt, who is becoming abrasive, combative and indecisive. What can I do?

Has she been diagnosed with Dementia? Did the rehab or Hospital want you to sign her out to your care? That is a good indicator they know she cannot take care of herself. We did that several times with the promise he would follow care plans but he couldn't or wouldn't. He really didn't even try. His 4th major Hospital stay in just over a year he almost died and we got shamed for not having him in care. He had pneumonia from aspirating his food because he developed aphasia. We were clear to the rehab we were getting too much flack and suspected liability was now against us and letting him go home alone was not said to be safe. We had not succeeded in convincing him to have a caregiver live with him, or even do real meaningful time. We could not convince him anything so we said they need to decide either he can check himself out and live alone safely or not. They chose to incapacitate him. He was evaluated twice and all agreed he not that he needed assisted living, but he had skipped straight to needing memory care. So now that is where he is. He is much better now. Well other than hating us for being there, but that is another story.

I'll leave the legalities of the house sale & medical reviews for those that know more.

If you asked your Aunt some big picture questions, you may get to what can actually help her going forward. Questions like Do you want to move? or Where to? or which assisted living? can be overwhelming & very hard to decide on.

Taking from the Atul Gawande book 'Being Moral' approach: what really matters to her? Having a safe place to live? With daily help? Activities she likes? Meals provided or ability to still make her own?

Whether selling now, to that buyer - I don't know... But time for a downsize may be due soon if not now. She is lucky to have family to assist her.

So this doctor who only sees her every six months last saw her when, exactly?

The falls, hospitalization and rehab happened when?

From what you describe, your aunt is manifestly not able to enter into a legal contract at the moment. Doesn't mean she won't ever be, or that you won't be able to act for her, but it's out of the question that she signs a contract for a house sale at a time when she is unable to figure out how to open her own front door. A contract is not valid unless the parties to it know what they are doing, and she doesn't. Call the purchaser, if your aunt will allow you, explain that she is too unwell to proceed at the moment, apologize, and offer to contact him again once the situation is clearer.

Start by getting her to a neurologist who can order a full workup for dementia.

Is the house being sold a fair market value or above? If she needs Medicaid in the next 5 years, it will be a problem if it's being sold for less than it's worth.

Is there a lawyer representing her at the closing?