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Carevdad Asked April 2022

What do you make of my dad?

Quick history past year: Hospitalized with bladder infection and got delirious. Came home delirium gone but a month later developed an intense delusion mom is having an affair. I called ambulance once cause we could not handle him. Better now but the delusion still exist about mom having affair and where she works is a whore house and that the man she is having an affair with transform into different people. Besides this all aspects of his daily function are normal. He refused any type of assessment or follow up. The only time he was assessed was when he was in hospital and the discharge was confusion. When he came home from hospital last December we took his car keys and told him he could not drive. Now he demands it and said it’s not suspended and he wants it back. This was an issue for a few months until we gave in. He is the type that he needs to be out of the house and driving here and there to “clear his mind.” I fear for safety but at same time he feels less restricted and not irritable when he has the freedom to go where he wants.


I seriously don’t know what is going to happen? What he has? How bad it will get soon? The only thing that is not himself is the delusion surrounding my mom having an affair. While other stuff he does is normal this is not normal. According to him, he is fine and we keep bothering him asking him to go to assessment like he is crazy. What can I do? What is there to do when he don’t want geriatric assessment or any assessment?

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2022
He needs in patient psychiatric care to investigate and adjust meds.

Carevdad Apr 2022
Beatty,
That is what the family doctor said, lingering delirium on and off but it has been going on for 4-5 months now. He had 2 courses of antibiotics but not current. Thing is he refuse to get tested or to get assessed. The delirium when he was in hospital was pervasive about everything and everyone but after a month at home it is ONLY directed at my mom.
Beatty Apr 2022
That is a long time.. how hard!
See if you can take Barb's advice & get an inpatient stay.
You Father's wishes for no Doctor does NOT outweigh your Mother's need to feel & be safe in her own home.

He must leave to be assessed.
If he refuses treatment, he can. But your Mother has every right to not allow him home if he is a risk to her.

Any number of medical issues could be behind it - eg people can go right 'off' with toxic buildup if kidney function declined with bladder infection. I hope the answer is found & the right treatment helps.

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Fawnby Apr 2022
He certainly has some sort of dementia and seems he could be a danger to himself or others. This can’t go on and you have to do something right away. In Florida there is the Baker Act. Please check it out and find out if you have something like it in your state.

PeggySue2020 Apr 2022
The first thing I thought of was chronic uti. But it might be more.

Im sorry he got his car back. Can you move or otherwise protect mom?
Carevdad Apr 2022
PeggySue2020, he is less preoccupied with my mom when he has the car. In the beginning he was nonstop and once I had to call ambulance to take him because he would not leave her alone. Now he is not in your face but still do mention about my mom having affair on continual basis, but he will listen now when she tells him to stop. But he is irritable all the time and it’s like we are on egg shells don’t know when another episode will occur. He has been on antibiotics twice but even now he doesn’t want to take. This is so unlike him cause before he was a pill popper for everything.
Beatty Apr 2022
My guess is delerium is still present. Caused by UTI/bladder infection.
Is he still being treated for it?

Has he had a recent full checkup? Inc blood tests & kidney function?

Your gut tells you something is not right. Keep pushing for answers from his medical team. He may need a 'therapeaduc fib' to get to the check-up, but if safety is a concern (to himself or to others) you may need to take immediate action.

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