My mom went to rehab for 4 months and came back home with fractures and ill. I feel like everybody thinks I did it. I have been with my mom since 1970. I have 1 brother (older by 13 yrs). He rarely visits. His common law wife never really got along with us. Every holiday would be like, "oh, we’re not hungry. We ate a lot at mamma’s," she would say and then get on her cell for the duration. My mom and dad helped them quite a bit, but she always kept kids from us. Oh and they split up for awhile while she took a meth vacay and then god forbid my beautiful niece got hooked on heroine for awhile. Ok 1981 my dad was permanently disabled. My mom had to go to work and I quit school when I was 16 to help with my dad so it was only the 3 of us always dealing with money situations, food bank, utilities being shut off and my brother had gone his way to find his life. Fast forward to 1999, I met my husband of 22 years now. He would come visit me on weekends at my friend's in Dallas so my friend told me about condominiums that were going cheap. So we were paying $950 monthly in gayborhood so my dad told my boyfriend at the time he could qualify for loan and payments would be less than half of $950 so long as they could visit. We went and saw condos and my boyfriend said yes so we moved on in in 2004. All of us never kept a filthy house, it was just cluttered thanks to mom and me. Fast forward to 2014 I inherited a condo from a friend who never had any children. I took care of him and fed him everyday. It started out I invited him for Christmas dinner and every year after that he came and so on. So he passed in 2015 and I moved into the condo with my husband so my mom and I would show up at each other’s door everyday. If I looked out my back gate, I could see hers. One Christmas I had 41 dozen tamales to deliver to some big noted companies and my mom came over and I was busy so she left and 30 minutes later I looked out back gate and she was on the ground. She slipped on ice and broke her arm and bam new doctor came about. She got admitted, got out and came home. She wasn’t one for cleaning, so Dr came over to see her one day and saw a mess so she took pictures and sent them to my brother and APS. So that’s where it went downhill for me. I was under a scope. I helped de-clutter her house and found out she owed on her condo fees, so I had to sell my house and pay them and move back in. Now they’re worried about her safety then back to rehab 4 months ago from eye infection. She got covid there, fractured hip/broken pelvis, which they are denying, but I got a voicemail from them about that. So she came back damaged goods and me getting APS called on if my mother took a crap. Oh and her left heel had a bandage on it from the nursing home. Big scab. So I treated it and a nurse came over and said "leave it alone don’t touch it." So she called APS also and those nurses didn’t spot the gangrene and they were taking pictures so APS showed up with my brother and removed her from me. I am so heartbroken.
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Does anyone have POA, Conservatorship, or Guardianship over your mother? If someone does it will likely be your brother. You will be able to petition to that person through the court to try to get back the money you paid out so your mother wouldn't lose her condo. That's about all you will be able to do.
APS is not blaming you for your mother's injuries or the state of her home. If they did you would have been visited by the police and there would have been charges filed.
I'm very sorry for your situation, but your mother will be placed if your brother cannot meet the care demands APS will make on him. They can demand that a house be completely renovated or it's "unsafe". You never know with these people. Good luck to you, and please try to communicate with your brother. It won't be easy, but it's best for your mom if you can be kept in the loop.
I would make the best you can of this. Instead of complaining and trying to figure out how to sue people just get down to work on your living environment, faithfully visit your Mom and try to stay out of trouble so that the state doesn't take guardianship and forbid you to visit. They can do it with the swipe of a pen. Ask to speak to social workers. Explain that your place is not dirty but is cluttered due to Mom and you both and that you are working on that. Explain that you had no idea the seriousness of your Mom's wound and clearly it is bad and you are thankful she is getting care for it now.
I would recognize to the best of your ability to do so that you are at this point not the best person to care for your Mom inhome. That she needs more care. I would allow the state to have guardianship if they wish it and mom needs care, because it is a tremendous job and it sounds there is enough on your plate.
I am sorry for the grief. Just own that you missed things and the house is a mess and you are working on it.
I am truly sorry for this and wish you the best.
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