I simply can't afford adult day care for DH. Any suggestions?

Good Morning,

If your loved one is able to get around how about purchasing an UP Walker Lite. They are around $495 or so. You can also buy a less expensive model on Amazon.com This will give your husband some freedom, exercise and if he can go to the supermarket with you. "Some" insurances will cover this.

I agree with you, keep TV to a minimum. There is no need for someone to sit in a recliner in front of CNN all day and think the world is going to the dogs.

Someone else wrote in about the Veteran's Aid & Attendance. I agree it's a lot of paperwork but it may worth it if your husband was a Veteran. You could benefit too, if needed down the road.

I would call back the Adult Day Programs and ask them flat out about grants, etc. Some Churches also have wonderful respite programs. Some facilities are medical models where there is an RN on site as well as p/t, o/t and speech.

Some are on a sliding scale that include transportation. I would contact the Department of Elderly Affairs, a Geriatrician and also your husband's primary care doctor to see--the more heads together on this one, the better. Also what about the AARP website?

My mother's program they are going to make cards for sick children for the local Children's hospital. They paint, cook, garden and soon to be sitting outdoors. The first day Mom was worn so I changed the time and the second time she made some new friends and they are now all going to sit together at lunchtime. Continental breakfast and a hot lunch are provided.

It was so touching my mother told me her new friend hugged her when she was leaving.

My mother's only complaint was that they put 1% milk in the coffee. I told her I can bring you a coffee, she worried that she didn't want her friends to think she was better than them, so today I will go out and buy my mother some "single" half & half creamers to put in her walker pouch when she goes next week. This way here they won't think we're "coffee snobs". I'm trying to make you laugh.

You're right these things are costly and a lot of people that are middle class are out of luck unless they dig in and roll up their sleeves and perhaps make that 10th phone call as was in my case. You're kind of scrambling for the "right" resources for your particular situation.

In life, you find what you're looking for! Amen...

Let's face it, the longer this goes on the more care your loved one will need.

Is your husband a Veteran? If so the VA may pay for the Day Care.
You can check with your local Area Agency on Aging and see if he qualifies for any services that may pay for care or a reduced cost day care.
Check with your local Senior Center they may also have programs that would be a good fit for him.

When I put my husband in adult day care, the director told me about a state funding program for caretakers. It could be used for day care, food, adult diapers and other expenses. This was in New Hampshire and all I had to do was fill out an application. What a blessing! I wished I had known about it sooner.

Hi Helen. For someone diagnosed as long ago as DH was, it seems like YOU are doing a very good job with him.

As long as he’s peaceful and reasonably compliant, his regular routine AND TV sound like a pretty good mix, within the boundaries of what you can do yourself.

Some of the day cares around here invite entertainers, small children, animal visits, interesting things that encourage socialization and attention.

There is a church sponsored group around here. I’m going to find out what they charge so you can make a comparison.

You are doing a great job at home. And...adult day health programs provide more sources of stimulation, create situations where your DH can interact with the supportive environment around him without your presence, and gives you a block of time that is for YOU. The 2 day/week requirement is because going only 1 day/week ends up feeling like a new experience every time for the participants, which is stressful.
As time goes on, your DH will need more and more assistance, and there will be times when you won't be able to be with him/help him.
Their charge sounds reasonable to me, but that may depend on where you live. Perhaps it is time to do some advanced care planning for DH's future needs, and times when you cannot provide all of his care.
Good luck to both of you.

Many men enjoy sorting nuts and bolts…but really, you got it on the activities.

It’s not just the activities, it’s also the socialization and the fact that you, too, need time away from him for even the absolutely necessary stuff like doctors, banks, the store. There’s a risk in leaving someone for even a minute.

The adult day care sounds like the best solution.

HELEN....YOUR BEST BET IS TO JUST GIVE THE DAYCARE A CALL AND ASK
THEM DIRECTLY FOR ADVICE.

THEY'RE THE BEST PEOPLE TO ASK AND I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE WILLING
TO HELP YOU WITH THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION. GOOD LUCK.

ALSO, GIVING YOUR LOCAL SENIOR CENTER (OFFICE FOR THE AGING) IS ANOTHER PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR ANSWERS.

My husband attended adult day care for a while. In addition to the things you stated, they had chair exercises, trivia games, ball toss (nerf type ball) and bowling games. They also had a pet therapy dog come in and the seniors would pet him and give him treats (my husband loved that). If practical, is there somewhere you could sit outside with him to get fresh air and sunshine, maybe bird, plane or car watch? Hope this helps.

Would you be willing to try Visiting Angels??
Here its about 20. or 25. per hour.
It depends where you are.
They are knowledgeable about AD.
Prayers for you and yours

Check with your local Alzheimer’s Association, they may be able to provide Grants or assistance to help with the cost of ADC.

Also provided in the ADC setting is the social interaction with new people. You are keeping him very occupied, but maybe the experience of seeing new faces and the camaraderie of new friends may help. Good luck.