My mother refuses to see a doctor. She is hurting herself and me. What can I do?
She's also said she hates me and wants to kill me. She lies and manipulates. She has become unbearable. But she is now hurting herself. Punching walls. Not taking any of her medications.
Your mom is pretty young. Are you living with her? If so for your own safety you need to begin plans to move out. If she is living with you and she is not competent you need to look for Assisted Living or Memory Care for her. (If she has been diagnosed with dementia MC would be the best option) BUT first she needs to be medicated for the outbursts, anger, anxiety. If she does not have dementia and it is mental illness she needs to be properly diagnosed and again medicated for her safety as well as those around her. The next time she threatens you or to self harm you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid she is going to harm herself or harm you or another member of the household. If she it transported to the hospital you MUST tell the hospital Social Worker that she can not be discharge to home as it is unsafe. You are afraid she will harm you or herself. Do not back down on this!!!
I hate to say it but, and this will be difficult for you, If she is mentally ill you can not help her she has to be professionally treated. If she has dementia she needs to be properly diagnosed and for your safety and hers she needs to be placed in Memory Care and to do this she will have to be medicated for the anxiety/outbursts. Finding the correct diagnosis is important.
A little more info in your profile or adding to your post will help with better responses.
Welcome to forum, Clm. We need more information from you in order to help with your situation. Does your Mother live with you? Does your Mother have a diagnosed dementia or mental illness? For how long has your Mom been suffering from this current condition? Meanwhile do know that you can call an ambulance. Tell them Mom has physically attacked you and is out of control. Ask she be transported to the hospital for assessment. Once Mom is at the hospital ask for a nurse manager or a social worker to meet with you at once and fill them in on what is happening. This is your best route to assessment and also to placement if that is the ultimate best choice.
Hello Clm1209 Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that your mom is so miserable. It must be awful to witness. It certainly sounds like your mother is suffering from a psychiatric disorder but with her not being willing to visit a doctor it is hard to know if it could be an infection or other issue. Look up involuntary commitment for Illinois. Often referred to as the Baker Act. Don’t be afraid to get her help. Neither of you sound safe in her current condition.
1. Stop trying to fix her. Get away from the unsafe situation. 2. Find a support group. NAMI has support groups in every state and a national presence in the US. Their website is https://nami.org. They have a helpline you can call. 3. If there is a Community Services Board in your state, call them.
Get a heavy duty rubber door wedge for your bedroom and for when you're in the bathroom. Try to get a baby cam. Record her saying that she wants to kill you. Call your local Area Agency on Aging. Go to any nursing home or hospital if you don't know where to start and tell them you need to talk to a social worker for recommendations. It is understandable that you think that you have to care for her but you are not equipped. I'm so sorry for your troubles.
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Are you living with her?
If so for your own safety you need to begin plans to move out.
If she is living with you and she is not competent you need to look for Assisted Living or Memory Care for her. (If she has been diagnosed with dementia MC would be the best option)
BUT first she needs to be medicated for the outbursts, anger, anxiety.
If she does not have dementia and it is mental illness she needs to be properly diagnosed and again medicated for her safety as well as those around her.
The next time she threatens you or to self harm you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid she is going to harm herself or harm you or another member of the household.
If she it transported to the hospital you MUST tell the hospital Social Worker that she can not be discharge to home as it is unsafe. You are afraid she will harm you or herself. Do not back down on this!!!
I hate to say it but, and this will be difficult for you,
If she is mentally ill you can not help her she has to be professionally treated.
If she has dementia she needs to be properly diagnosed and for your safety and hers she needs to be placed in Memory Care and to do this she will have to be medicated for the anxiety/outbursts. Finding the correct diagnosis is important.
A little more info in your profile or adding to your post will help with better responses.
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Does your Mother live with you?
Does your Mother have a diagnosed dementia or mental illness?
For how long has your Mom been suffering from this current condition?
Meanwhile do know that you can call an ambulance. Tell them Mom has physically attacked you and is out of control. Ask she be transported to the hospital for assessment.
Once Mom is at the hospital ask for a nurse manager or a social worker to meet with you at once and fill them in on what is happening.
This is your best route to assessment and also to placement if that is the ultimate best choice.
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that your mom is so miserable. It must be awful to witness.
It certainly sounds like your mother is suffering from a psychiatric disorder but with her not being willing to visit a doctor it is hard to know if it could be an infection or other issue.
Look up involuntary commitment for Illinois. Often referred to as the Baker Act.
Don’t be afraid to get her help. Neither of you sound safe in her current condition.
2. Find a support group. NAMI has support groups in every state and a national presence in the US. Their website is https://nami.org. They have a helpline you can call.
3. If there is a Community Services Board in your state, call them.
It is understandable that you think that you have to care for her but you are not equipped.
I'm so sorry for your troubles.
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