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Annaskid3 Asked May 2022

How can I get my elderly mom with deteriorating mental health help?

81 year old woman. Physically healthy. Her mental stability is unstable and worsening.


Mom states… airplanes that fly over her community are spying on her…states her home is “bugged” and being “video taped” by her former co-workers, family members, people in her community. She accuses neighbors of working on behalf of her enemies. Mom has zero friends. She has said things like this for as far back as I remember. She was a physically abusive parent. She still has fits of rage but can no longer act on them. I think she needs help but is not compliant. She also thinks doctors are working for her enemies. “Enemies” or the “bad guys” are her words.


These are people that spend all of their days and nights and money watching and plotting against her. There is a lot more to talk about.

JoAnn29 May 2022
IMO its sounds like Mom is a paranoid schizophrenic if she has been like this most of her life and its not new behaviour. She may now be developing a Dementia. She really needs more than a therapist. She may need a Psychiatrist at least a Neurologist.

AlvaDeer May 2022
Your Mom has apparently suffered from undiagnosed mental illness throughout her life. I very much doubt you can help her. I would like to suggest you first order from your library or bookstore the book by Liz Scheier called Never Simple. She attempted,pretty much with the help of the entire mental health system of the State of New York and city of NYC to help her mentally ill Mom all her adult life, until eventually her Mom died broke, homeless in the street. There really is not a lot of support for the mentally ill and their families in our country.
I would get in contact with APS and let them access the mental health system such as it may be where you are. I would NEVER under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES assume POA or guardianship as this will give you a lifetime of pain and woe to no avail. It is very difficult to help those who do not want help. The job is onerous enough when doing it for an organized, rational and cooperative adult, but that's not your Mom. I would ask the state to assume guardianship and help your Mom access any support available to her. I would try to visit her, but for the most part I would get on with my own life and make it quality; I would get therapy so that I did not pass on to my own family the trauma I lived through mental illness.
Only you can make your own decisions for yourself. These above would be mine. Your Mom has lived her life. You have yours ahead of you.

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Jhalldenton May 2022
This is a form of Paranoia and indicates that your mother is delusional. Currently there is a term called "gang stalking" that matches your mother's behavior. Watch this video on Dr. Phil. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB38DgR0-0Q. A very good video on Gang stalking and Targeted Individuals is here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LPS7E-0tuA

If she will go, take her to a therapist. Other wise you will be dealing with this forever.

BarbBrooklyn May 2022
These are delusions and paranoia. They are symptoms of several different mental illness. There ARE meds that can help.

Would she accompany you to psychiatry appointment for YOUR problem with not understanding her problems?

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