Searching for creative solutions to handle mom's BM accidents during the day. Any advice?

The answer is simple. She doesn't belong at home. She needs to be in a nursing home. Lose bowels in a sick person, can't be controlled with diet or schedules.

When my mom was having too many bm accidents, my sister and I decided to try giving her one anti-diarrhea pill everyday. It hasn't eliminated the problem completely, but sure has helped. Below, GKaramanis1974 suggested basically the same thing. The one we use is the less expensive, generic form of Imodium named loperamide. Unfortunately, in the stores it's hard to find just bottles of loperamide without that blister pack that almost needs jaws of life to get into, so I ordered from Affordable Meds online.

I strongly suggest you use Equate disposable panties with an added Equate pad to limit any leakage AND give one, 2mg tablet of Imodium AD or equivalent everyday to limit the number of bowel movements(the amodium slows down the movement of the bowels) so they are more predictable. This worked well for my wife and others I've spoken to with the same issue. The Amodium or equivalent is safe to be given daily and if she becomes constipated, back off to every other day. This was suggested by our PC doc.

A lot of good advice.....I hope some of the solutions work for you. With that said...let's address the elephant in the room. Mom has dementia and will only get worse. You sound as if you are at a breaking point with nowhere to hide. My heart breaks for you because I know first hand how devastating this disease is....and to have the burden, or even share it, can be beyond anyone's capabilities. I am now on the other side of this (mom passed last week) and I'm afraid it has broke me. Now I worry and need to be on high alert for my dad who turns 93 next month, living at home and lonely. My husband has worsening heart failure and is simply not healthy overall. Two houses to maintain, and a future that seems to stretch on with only caring for vulnerable loved ones. I lie awake at night wondering how long I can continue living groundhog day. I'm 71 and beyond exhausted. Please, please, do whatever is necessary to save yourself. This is a painfully long, difficult journey.

It's natural for your bowels to move after getting up and having breakfast, is there someone who could guide her to the bathroom shortly after she has eaten and encouraging her to spend a few minutes there? If it's just your husband who is available it may be embarrassing but I would think that it is still better than cleaning up a mess.

You have a difficult situation, so these ideas might be reasonable when they wouldn’t be in other circumstances.

1) Is FIL able to get MIL to the toilet say a half an hour after breakfast, and stay with her until it works.
2) Can you wake MIL earlier, get her out of bed on her feet, and give her something to eat? That might get things moving while you are still at home.
3) Can you shift her main meal to lunchtime, not dinner? A very light tea will drop the need for the toilet first thing.
4) Can you reduce the spice level in any curry she eats? Chili, garlic, onion, plus anything in enough quantity to be strong tasting, can make the problem worse. So can alcohol, by the way.
5) Can MIL spend the morning sitting on a commode, with a rug over her lap for decency’s sake.
6) Can you investigate the various options for bidet attachments? Particularly if she can use an area with a floor drain, a hose with an on/off tap inserted into a water pipe can let her and the surroundings be squirted down and out the bowl and the drain. It’s less intrusive than wiping off, and might be more acceptable to the sensibilities of the people involved.
7) You tell the people with sensibilities that there is no other option.

Best wishes, Margaret

If she stays with a BM in her pants, her skin will break down and that will be an even bigger problem. It can get infected too. Someone need to supervise her toileting while you are gone.

As it relates to accidents, My doctor suggested a half pill of Imodium 3 days a week. It completely stopped the accidents but did not impact her normal bowel movements. A life saver.

wearynow: You may need to hire an aide to help your mother with toileting for the four hours that you are gone.

I'm assuming that your mother is alone during your work hours because you don't mention anyone being in the home who could help her. It is not safe for her to be left alone while you're at work or any other time. May I ask if you are the poster who brought your mother with dementia to the U.S. from India a few years ago and she doesn't qualify for Medicare or Medicaid? Rightly so of course. Why should the American government have to pay the care for a needy elder whose family brought them here, and who never contributed a moment of time or a cent to our system? Please. You brought her here. You take care of her until the remaining few years are done and she becomes eligible for Medicaid and SSI. Then she can be 'placed' and the American taxpayer will start picking up the bill.
If she is so far gone with dementia now that she does not remember what a Depend is and why she's wearing one, she cannot be left alone while you are at work. It is unsafe for her to be left alone.
What would happen if she decided to wander off while you're at work? Or wants some company to talk to during the day and lets a stranger in the house? Or decides to cook when no one is home?
If she can't comprehend why she's wearing a Depend and leaves it on the bathroom floor, the 'yucky and unpredictable' accidents are the least of your worries.
Don't use your mother not having any money as an excuse for why there are no homecare aides staying with her while you're at work.
You work four hours a day in a school. You do not support yourself on a 20-hour a week part-time job. Someone else is paying the bills and providing for you and your mother. Tell that person you need to quit your job or use the money you earn on it to pay for your mother's homecare aides while you're at work.