Any advice on finding care for my husband so I can attend my SIL's funeral in another state?

Respite care in a nursing home is a much better alternative than trying to arrange 24 hour care in your home. You and your family have a lot on your plate right now, so knowing your husband is being cared for while you're gone is preferable to having to worry about caregivers not showing up, having to supervise from a distance, etc.

It is really hard for an individual to provide 24 hour care. You gradually evolved a system that presumably works for you and your husband, but a stranger coming in wouldn’t have the benefit of your history, initial compatibility, and shared default schedule. Your preference for non-agency care also means that they wouldn’t have team to fall back on. So, you are looking for a really exceptional individual, or maybe a partnership.

You can inquire with the staff at the local senior center and any social worker available, Parkinson’s or stroke support group, etc. available to you for suggestions, but you are going to have to get very lucky and have a lot of faith that it will work out and that you will be able to return on schedule.

You can probably find an agency that could handle the job, but I agree with others here that respite care is the obvious solution. It’s the service that is meant to provide the short term replacement care that you are seeking.

You could start by making some phone calls to check on availability and price range.

I wish you and your family well in navigating this difficult time.

It is your own husband needing total care?

Facilities offer something called "respite care" for the patient. The intention is to care for the patient while the caregiver takes a vacation.

Many facilities that have Assisted Living, Memory Care will also do Respite.
Check a few in your area. Do a tour just as if you were going to place him there.
(many facilities do Respite with the hope that you may decide to keep that placement permanent.)
If he is not on Hospice then the Respite stay will be out of pocket expense. (But do check insurance and if he has Long Term Care insurance check that)
If he is on Hospice then Respite of about 1 week is paid for by Medicare and other insurances that cover Hospice.
(if he is not on Hospice it might be worth a call at some point to see if he would be eligible. There are many advantages to Hospice)

I vote for respite care, too.

If an informal arrangement did work out it would be more by luck than judgement. This is an occasion when you need to call on experienced people with guaranteed credentials.

My first thought is respite care as well, some states have programs that pay or help pay for the respite care as well when insurance doesn’t so it’s worth a call to your local Agency on Aging. Putting him in respite care not only makes sure he is cared for it will or should put your mind at ease so you can totally focus on your daughter and her family without the constant worry about wether or not things are ok at home, stressing about having to be home at a certain time and checking in or taking phone calls from the caregivers you pieced together at home. Your daughter needs your undivided attention at this time and you need to give it to her. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Respite care through a skilled nursing facility.

Respite care might be the safest option. The cost would be the price you pay to be able to leave for a while. You might not find a reliable in home caregiver on short notice whether a private hire or through an Agency as there are currently more staffing shortages than usual.

If you have any church association, you could ask there if anyone available for hire is known to the church community. Senior Services and public agencies would be another source of referrals, but I would not count on nor expect the best help from those sources.

If it were my LO, I would felt safest in putting him in a facility for Respite Care.

It is good of you to want to support your child (child?--I'm a little confused about who is dying in this post--where is the SIL part of this story?), but if you cannot provide alternate care for your husband, you won't be able to make the trip.

AnneofTN: Respite care - American House Shallowford, 7127 Lee Highway, Chattanooga, TN 37421, phone number 423-805-9046 is just one that came up for your state of Tennessee. Best of luck.