My mom came to live with me & my husband about six months ago. We had a chairlift installed about two months ago due to her bedroom being upstairs. I now realize the bathroom upstairs is way too small for what she needs. Next week we are having our half bath downstairs enlarged and updated with a curbless shower with the toilet & sink moved so she can freely use her walker in the bathroom. This will give my mom and I more room to move around. We also decided to make our family room (1st floor) her bedroom. I’m worried about her being able to open the door and move freely downstairs potentially hurting herself. The door in her current room sticks so I close it tight to ensure she can’t get out at night. Any suggestions on what to do about her door when she moves downstairs?
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No need in telling me about the laws or fires because that was not my question, but thank you and i will not take your advice. I will however, find a device that will not allow my mom to exit her room at night during bed time. After all I don’t want her to start a fire from cooking.
As my Mom’s dementia progresses I will hire someone around the clock. Right now i have someone part-time.
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This could be use at the doors going outside OR you could use it at the door to her room. either way you would be alerted if the door was opened.
There are bed alarms that would go off if she moves around in bed. (That is the problem with those, they go off easily)
There are floor alarms. A mat that will be placed on the floor by the bed. When she places pressure on it the alarm will go off alerting you to the fact that she is getting out of bed.
You might also consider a camera for her room. the right one you will get a notice on your phone if there is movement.
A baby monitor would do the same thing as well.
What are the risks that you're concerned about? I.e. how might she "potentially hurt herself"?
I don't know what the relevant legislation is where you live, so I don't know if Lealonnie is correct about your state, but I can confirm that what you are currently doing (jamming the door tight) and apparently considering (locking or securing her new bedroom door) is termed a Deprivation of Liberty, and where I live (the UK) is illegal if not formally applied for and endorsed. New legislation now makes this so in family homes as well as in residential care.
What I would recommend is that you ask an Occupational Therapist with experience in dementia settings to come and do an assessment.
It isn't that anybody *wants* vulnerable elders with dementia catching a bus or chucking themselves down the stairs or setting fire to the kitchen at four in the morning; but there are ways and ways of making their environment safe and locking them in ain't one of them. An OT will be your best guide to all the possible options.
I’m not sure what gave everyone the impression that I’m alone and making all these decisions on my on. I have family support in and out of my home and I also get out with my husband for rest and relaxation.
Dementia is a HUGE matter to deal with, and roaming is only one issue of many. You'll have to install locks on the doors leading outside of the house, and in a high spot where your mother can't reach them, in order to prevent her from getting out. You won't be able to prevent her from roaming around the house, however, as night time restlessness & insomnia are common with moderate dementia and beyond. It's important to lock up the chemicals, put child proof locks on cabinets, and think about taking knobs off of the stove and things like that, if she's interested in cooking. You do not want her putting a pot on the stove at 2 am and forgetting about it...........
What you can't do is lock your mother into her room at night; that's against the law. You can only lock the exterior doors of the house to stop her from getting outside. If there was a fire, she'd need to be able to get out of her room, albeit why nobody can be locked inside their rooms at night.
You may want to call in the services of an Occupational Therapist to get advice on making your home safe for your mother to live there. You can also call her PCP for guidance on getting an OT assessment for your home, before you spend a lot of money renovating.
Here is a link to a good 33 page booklet on dementia you may want to read to see what lies ahead:
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
You may be in over your head with your mother; if so, look into Memory Care Assisted Living for her. My mother was in MC for nearly 3 years (Assisted Living for 5 years prior to MC) and was very well cared for by a team of attentive and loving people.
Best of luck with all you have going on.