What is a fair compensation to care for my father? I provide 24/7 care for him in my home as my siblings are refusing to help.

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Sharonshell Asked June 2022

What is a fair compensation to care for my father? I provide 24/7 care for him in my home as my siblings are refusing to help.

My sister kicked my father out and I took over his finances. I need to know what is fair for me to take! He has dementia and I’m stuck here with him making meals, can’t go anywhere due to him needing care 24/7. My sisters are being awful and think $600 a month covers everything. I want a fair caregivers salary and rent.

Care Decisions Family Caregiver Multi-generational Living Relationships

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score 0 · Answer 1

Fair salary $ 30per hour and up

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score 1 · Answer 2

Are you thinking that you and your sister can sit down and decide what money you should get and how it should be paid to you?
That's not how this works and it could be considered elder abuse.
You took over his finances? As what? Are you a POA? Is he suffering from dementia? Who is paying you "anything" for this care.
You need to see an elder law attorney. The next kick out may require medicaid care and if the senior's money is being spent by you two as you deem fitting, then that will be consider gifting.
You need legal advice. Please see an attorney (elder law).

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Yes I suppose I need an attorney - when I was forced to take him into my home he agreed to let me handle the accounts and I promised I would never kick him out when his money was gone but my sister decided he needed more care - If you say caregiver is paid 30/hour why am I not entitled to that amount as I provided him with everything he needed home food transportation how does that go anywhere to elder abuse? I guess I should have been writing myself a check weekly but thought he was with me for lufe

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score 1 · Answer 3

How long have you had him in your home?

Is the plan for you to provide total care for him so that his $300K will be preserved and eventually be divided amongst his children when he dies? It sounds like that is the plan that your siblings have.

What do YOU think? Do your siblings get to live their lives while you take fulltime care of your father? Did you give up a paying job to do this?

WHY did you do it? Do you have POA/HCPOA for your father?

Better meet with an elder attorney (use your father's money) to see how you can be legally paid and preserve your father's ability to qualify for Medicaid if need be.

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I was unemployed during covid and was forced to pick up my dad was given half hour notice she had him out on driveway and it was Sept 2021 just when I was thinking about going back to work - I have his money but sister is threatening court etc if I don’t give to her - she wanted him in assisted living two mo ago and his dimentia is progressing - he woke every morning wanting to go to ER and Was fine so he called her she took him and he told dr I punched him so she’s trying to get me in trouble but I never laid a hand on him but we have had arguments - so I want to keep more than she thinks is right I want 1200 a week she says 600 a month - I provided a home transportation meals snd couldn’t leave him alone so I’m not giving it all to her after ten mo ago she bought a car with deposit on her credit card - what is fair for me to keep!?

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score 1 · Answer 4

Generally a caregiver can get between $20-30 per hour.
BUT you can not work 24/7 so you can not "charge" for 24 hour work days.
Hire a caregiver for part of that time..
As to the rent.
Take all the household expenses and divide that by the number of people living in the house. That is what you could "charge" him. (household expenses would be mortgage, gas, electric, cable, phone, food, homeowners insurance....)
Check the IRS for what you can charge him per mile when you take him to the doctor.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Yes she put him in assisted living and bet he ends up in memory care soon - she wants all his $$ and I am struggling to what is fair to keep for past eight months - probably need a mediator - he had about 300k - thanks for your response

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Wait, if you had control over money, how did sis put him in al? Is this a position you both agreed to?

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score 0 · Answer 6

My in laws have 247. It costs them about 175k a year. Add the weekly housekeepers and gardeners, it’s about 200k.

I doubt anyone will go along with that. Homes are cheaper. It may be the time to start looking into them.

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No, I didnt agree to this I had promised to keep him for life but sister didn’t think he was getting good enough care she wanted memory care etc so when she picked him up and somehow got him to accuse me of abuse—— she was able to keep him and get protection order and wouldn’t let me talk to him or know where he is! She was able to get into his account and pay for AL and is demanding that I give her all his stuff and money so I want to keep what I should be paid for the rent mo rent caregiving expenses etc

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What is a fair compensation to care for my father? I provide 24/7 care for him in my home as my siblings are refusing to help.

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