Mom is 97, placed on hospice last Sunday. She has some dementia and is very forgetful but is alert. Any advice on how to handle the stress?

At 97, there is very little possibility that she will continue living much longer, even if she were in good health. She's at the maximum level of life expectancy for humans. Most people have already died way below age 97. In her case, her vital organs must be very close to expiration date. She might look OK for now but not for long. She doesn't have to look comatose before dying. She might pass during her sleep. There is nothing unusual for a 97 year-old passing away. The family should feel very fortunate that she lived for so long and that at this final stage of her life she isn't suffering a great deal. Of course, the family, like most families, would like to see her to continue living but, will that be realistic?

Thank you! I'm with Mom now in her Hospice House room. She has been sleeping soundly since 1:30 am. Thank you, everyone!

My Husband, diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I suspect he also had Vascular Dementia was on Hospice, at home, for just about 3 years.
Being placed on Hospice does not mean death is imminent. It does mean that if the course of the diagnosed condition follows the expected course the life expectancy is 6 months or fewer. During that time no interventions will be taken, comfort measures only. At the end of the 6 months she will be reevaluated. Decline will be assessed and if there has been a marked decline she will remain on Hospice. If there has been no decline then she will be removed from Hospice. She can be reevaluated at a later date and placed back on Hospice at that time.

For now visit mom just as you normally would. Talk to her as you always have. Nothing really has changed. Other than "some doctor" says s/he "thinks" your mom will die within a specific period of time. No one knows when we will die. Death will happen when it happens.

Hospice has a great many advantages. Use the Social Worker, the Chaplain and the other services to talk about things, ask questions. These are wonderful people that have chosen a field that not many do. They see more and understand more than most medical professionals.

My mother was on hospice for seven months. She was pretty normal for most of that time, except her once-healthy appetite disappeared, and her dementia gradually worsened. I put her on hospice because we were done with traumatic hospital stays that made her hysterical and didl't help her much anyway.

Being but on hospice doesn't mean it's The End. It could take some time.

I am sorry for your impending loss.

As long as she's not suffering try to enjoy the time you have left with her.

May The Lord give you peace, strength and comfort.