Have any of you put weight on since being a caregiver?

I lost my appetite during caregiving, and my weight fell into the 70's. I was severely depressed after I learned that my mom had vascular or mixed dementia, and became bedridden and incontinent , She was in snfs and assisted living with an enhanced.....I couldn't get in, because of COVID restrictions.....the whole thing was a nightmare.

At the end she was on home hospice, with me as the primary caregiver.

One night while changing her diaper, I lost it.....as I couldn't keep up with the diaper changing, as well as trying to keep thingds clean, and I called 911. It turned out that she had c difficile.

The whole thing was a nightmare, gait problems, falls, and becoming bedridden and incontinent, after a fall in April 2020.

She was very stubborn and refused to use a wheelchair or rollator, and only used a cane.......when I told her that she needed more than just a cane, she accused me of not being encouraging..The whole thing was absolutely awful.

I became severely depressed and had panic attacks that intensified. I have a
psychiatrist and made an appointment to speak with a social worker for therapy later this month.

The whole thing took an enormous toll on me. I lost interest in everything that I once enjoyed, lost my appetite and became a nervous wreck.

Caregivers..... please take care of yourself!

Nippin56: There are a variety of reasons why caregivers' weight fluctuates - stress, inability to get proper nutrition due to time constraints, thyroid disorders, et al.

Cortisol the weight gain is in the stomach from constantly being on edge . I was a size 10 for Many years - came to my dads and became a 12 with a big stomach . I was running around Boston and Not eating Much . Then went up to a 14 . Went to Virginia went down to a 12 and got thin . This winter went up to a 14 again and am really Out of shape and Have been very sick twice . So yes the stress takes a toll On you ......

Hey, I earned those chocolates!

My caregiving peaked during the pandemic and I gained a lot of weight. Combination of reasons: stress eating, broken sleep from my mother waking me, lack of exercise because hockey was suspended, using more prepared foods just to get meals on the table for her, and my own family. I’ve set myself a goal of getting my strength and wind back over the summer to be back on the ice next fall. I miss the intense workout.

Crud, now I’m depressed. Please pass the cookies. No, wait!

We’re doing the best we can. Let’s not berate ourselves. We have mothers and MILs for that. 😉

For me it wasn't caregiving that triggered weight gain but the covid shutdown. In the first month I gained 8 lbs and knew i just couldn't let that continue (as I was already overweight). I signed up for the Noom app and it worked great, not just because I lost 30 lbs in less than a year (and only gained back 5 after 2 years) but because it deals with the reasons *why* I ate the way I did. Daily and honest food/calorie journaling really helped me and the app made it easy by already having many foods and products listed in the app. You need to know what your healthly body weight for age, gender and height should be. I recorded every peanut and olive I popped into my mouth. It was eye opening. Planning meals in advance and knowing when you'd be in a situationo where healthy food offers woudn't be available was extremely helpful. Many times I "pre-loaded" on carrots or yogurt before I would be subjected to donuts (my Krytonite).

Noom doesn't sell any food or supplements. It doesn't tell you what to eat or when. It gives you information and daily challenges so that you come to your own decisions and conclusions. There is also a forum for participants to share strategies and ideas, which was helpful. It pre-listed all types of exercise so you can log what calories you've burned easily, and also has a real-time pedometer in the app. You can also get feedback from a coach.

It also had teachings on how to know what research and studies to trust (who sponsored it, was it reviewed by objective peers, was it ever duplicated by an objective group, how big was the participant pool and for how long was it conducted). This is so that people could avoid harmful fads and trends.

It does cost money for a subscription when you start, but now I have all the tools I need for a lifetime of better eating and exercising. I don't pay for the subscription anymore. I highly recommend it.

Care taking itself does not cause weight gain, but careless eating while care taking does.

Be mindful about what you eat. Shop for healthier "quick" options if you are having to eat on the run at random times. Prepare good-sized batches of basics like rice, chicken, fish, vegetables and freeze meal size servings you can grab, thaw, eat It takes a little planning, but . . . once you get a system it is no harder than resorting to junk or fast food and your health and weight will benefit. Include lean protein every time you eat. That will help even out digestion and cravings for junk.

Although I’m exhausted as a caregiver for my mom, I start my day at 0430. At 0700, I exercise for 30 to 40 minutes on my elliptical. This has greatly improved my morale and waistline. It also helps with the stress of caregiving. Believe me, stress will make food your BFF.

I put on weight. And that stresses me out, which makes me eat more, which stresses me more.

6 months ago I was still able to really take care of myself. Then I slipped (there was too much stress), and it’s been downhill in self-care. I can be an example of what not to do.

It’s unusual to lose weight when stressed out (the majority of people put on weight). People who are very sad, sometimes lose their appetite, lose weight. But - stress - normally makes you put on weight.

Let’s all lose this extra weight.

I cared for my mother, with dementia, after her shattered hip was replaced when she was 89.

I gained over 60 pounds in 9 months, and learned the true medical meaning of insomnia.

After 9 months, we placed her in a very fine local residential care center, where she lived happily for over 5 years until her death. I visited every day.

Several years later I lost 115 pounds, and have maintained my loss for about 9
years, to this date.

My mothered did not thrive in my home, even though my care was better than her ability to care for herself previous to her fall.

She did thrive in the residence where she spent the last 5 years of her life, and passed peacefully at 95.

No actually I have lost weight. Since my wife eats very little and usually eats in bed I have returned to my normal eating habits and cut my intake. Most of the time I was fixing big meals just for her.

I’ve gained weight. Mainly because l haven’t been able to ride my bike or exercise. I need to get some in-home care a couple afternoons a week in order to have some “me” time. I manage to get a half-hour dog walk before she wakes in the mornings which gives me a minimal workout. I can take the dogs out for ten to fifteen minutes a couple times during the day because I stay close to the house, but more than that I wouldn’t venture.

Yes, gained weight. I'm just today starting to eat better to get it back off!

You seriously need to make some changes. You can NOT be the only person that takes care of your mother. It's too much and you are neglecting your husband, kids and grandkids. And most importantly - YOURSELF.

You should consider getting some hired help for mom ASAP. Maybe someone that can come a few days a week for 4 hours. That would give you a break and allow you to live at least some of YOUR life.

Your health, your routine, your hubby - they're priorities. Your mom is important too but you are not the only one that can help her.

Yup. I gained about 10 lbs while caregiving for 7 weeks for my DH who had a liver transplant out of state. We were living in a hotel during that time, and he was hospitalized 3x and in the ER 3x during our stay. We had clinic appointments 3x a week at 6:10am, sometimes 3 per DAY some days. I ate to help me cope with the emotional stress I was feeling.

The way I look at it is, we didn't get drunk or smoke or use drugs to cope, we ate a bit too much food, that's all! Now is a good time to look after ourselves and get back to healthy eating once more. Give yourself some grace, you deserve to.

Best of luck

I lost 10 pounds while taking care of my parents in their house. I finally counted one day, and I was going up and down their stairs 20 times a day.

Are you a stress eater (I am). I stayed with my mother for 8 days and nights straight once because she pulled some muscles and became nearly totally helplessly. One one of my brief respites (my H stayed with her), during an errand run I bought some cookies for myself. They were much needed! It was a direct response to the stress of my mother's neediness. Things would have gotten out of hand if I'd had to live with her (or her with me).

How discouraging to put back on the ~28 pounds you'd lost. Why did you have to become your mother's caregiver when she fell? Do you have siblings?

There has got to be another way, don't you think? As you write, you have your own health issues. Why should you compromise your own quality of life for your mother?

Obviously you can not continue this way. Your family and your health are a priority, or should be for you.
You can not and should not put your life on hold to care for your mom.
She can not live alone any longer.
so the options you have, some not so great are...
Continue as you are. Not fair to you or your family.
Bring your family to live with mom. Again probably not fair to uproot the rest of your family.
Bring m om to live with you. Again probably not fair and adaptations might have to be made to your house to accommodate her as she declines.
Look for a Memory Care facility near you so you can visit. She will be cared for 24/7/365. She will be safe. And you can resume the role of daughter not as her caregiver.

oh, I guess I did not answer your main question.
Some people gain, some lose. It depends on how you personally handle stress and deal with the changes that are happening.

You ask very broad questions (yes, many of us have gained weight, so yes, we're in the same boat)...but are you looking to just vent? Or do you need some other objective suggestions to help you? If so, we'll need you clarify what type of information you're looking for. Also, the country where you reside. Thanks!