My brother lives in his own home and has a home caregiver every day for 4 hours. He has no short-term memory and tends to become very combative at times. He also does not believe he has any problems and at times sees me (his sister) as the bad guy trying to take away his freedom. After a short hospital stay, the social worker refused to release him without a home care service arrangement made. Thank you for any suggestions!
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I have a friend whose elderly father burned their house to the ground ( they lived together and the dad wanted maximum independence ), the father forgot about a wood stove fire he started , and also died due to the flames and smoke inhalation. Sharing this not to be morbid, but because placing people can be REALLY hard, however, sometimes it is the least bad choice.
After weighting the options you’re doing the best you can for all concerned, but boy it often doesn’t feel like it.
Truly wishing you the best!
The problem with these brain issues is that the person with the issue cannot see the problem. If they have a difficult time with trust, then it is even harder to get them to agree to do something about it. Memory Care facilities are prepared to deal with people who don’t believe they should be there or are placed there against their will.
Either way, I see a lot of mental anguish and work for you in the future. Please make sure you are healthy as you begin this journey.
Best wishes!
The caregiver comes for 4 hours. Who watches and supervises him the other 20 hours in a day?
He needs to have a live-in caregiver/companion or has to be placed in the appropriate care facility.
There is no question here. Your brother is not safe on his own anymore.
Does he have 24/7 help?
Is he diagnosed as unable to function for himself now by his doctors?
I would recommend at least a try at ALF now. Some thrive with short term memory loss, though seldom with anger issues. Worth a try esp if you find a facility that has a MC he can move to if such a move is indicated.
When he is alone does he wander? Can he cook and clean safely for himself. I am assuming he lives along. Are you nearby for several time daily checks?
A lot figures in all this and you would be the best guesser at when it is right to make a move I am thinking.
If not, no one can force him to move anywhere.
Are you his POA if he IS diagnosed?
Clearly, whether you are POA or not you are now attempting to manage his care. This may enable him to avoid the necessity of placement.
Hope you can update us on his diagnosis, prognosis from his doctors, and your ability to act for him in any realistic and legalistic capacity. This may not be in your hands at all.
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