In November, my husband had a serious car accident and was left with a TBI. It has been 7 mo. and he won't help me to help him. What should I do?

Laypeople here on the forum cannot possible answer your question. Your DHs doctor is the one to speak to about his prognosis and possible tests to see where he's at right now, mentally. Being 54 years old is awfully young to be going through such a thing, and to be giving up! Being 91 lbs is terribly thin, too. I'm so sorry you both are going through such a thing, and sad to hear his children aren't helping him in any way. That's very sad to know. Why do children sometimes back OFF when medical issues crop up for their parents??? I've seen it with my DH's children too............grown adults who'd call him constantly with their own problems before HE got sick. Now, crickets. Disgusting, really.

It's so kind of you to be separated and still helping him out like this. Bless you for doing so. I sure hope his doctor can shed some light on what the prognosis is and that he starts to improve soon. I wonder if his doctor could send him to an acute rehab facility for treatment? Did he go after the accident happened?

Please disregard 'Fortune Cookie Diagnoses' that are given here on the forum by people not qualified to do so. ONLY your DH's doctor can make such statements, and they are the ones to listen to exclusively. If meds are prescribed by his doctor, they SHOULD BE TAKEN regardless of anyone else's opinion as to whether they will make him 'worse' or not. What's truly 'useless' is comments coming from those w/o firsthand knowledge of YOUR DH and his particular situation.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Do you want to do this or do you feel you HAVE to do this? Sort out this conflict and go from there. Since he has grown kids who could help, you may not need to be involved. If you were out of the way, maybe they’d step in. It is worth trying to see what happens.

Wow, without a good writeup of what your husband and his life were like before the Traumatic Brain Injury, and without knowing what you have already tried, I am at a loss.
How old is your husband?
Was he normal, active, and of a normal weight before this happened to him?
What does the neuro-psyc MD say his injuries consist of, and what diagnosis and prognosis does he make for healing beyond this long half year period? When was the last he was reassessed.
And most importantly what rehab did hubby have and for how long with serious OT and PT work?
Is your husband capable of understanding you? That is to say does he mentally understand you if you have told him that you cannot long continue with this level of care?
And with the amount of weight loss, I wonder if you will HAVE to consider a long caregiving career, because a weight of 91 for a male, if he was average in weight before all this, is serious wasting.
So basically I am asking you to see your husband's medical community. You are looking at needs for serious help with him now, re-evaluation, and a check on whether there is something other than only a brain injury at work here. You are in need of more care for him. That is either A) in facility care B)rehab or C) hospice, and your MD's evaluation may guide you in the direction this is heading.
If you can provide us with a more thorough writeup we may have more information or clue about where you can head for help, and I am so very very sorry for where you are at now. This has to be dreadful for you both.
I wish you the best. I hope you will update us.

TBI comes in different sizes, "small, medium, medium-large, large and extra-large". If it's small, it may have a complete recovery after a few months or a few years. If it's medium and up, it may leave permanent sequelae. Sometimes, the damage will become progressive and can even lead to dementia in latter years. Cognitive functions are the first ones affected. However, it can involve other brain functions that cause emotional volatility (rage, aggression, anxiety, depression and even changes in personality). Neuropsychological evaluations can help to monitor the TBI evolution. MRI are useless. Psychotropic medications will make TBI worse. It's better to avoid them. The best treatment is rest and time to heal. Seven months is still too soon to expect a significant improvement in your husband. A neuropsychological test with periodic repeats is the best way to follow the evolution of your husband's TBI. Patience is paramount.

It can take a very long time to "recover" from a TBI.
A friend of mind got hit in the head earlier this year and was diagnosed with a concussion. She is on "Concussion Protocol Measures" for 12 months. And she is still having problems finding words on occasion and still feels "foggy" at times.
Have you and he talked to his Neurologist about this?
It is possible that talking to someone about the accident might help.
Some of what you are describing could be PTSD or depression, that needs to be diagnosed.

Earlier I used quotations around recover. There is a possibility that there was damage that he will not recover from. Generally the brain can rewire and develop new pathways but that might take Therapy in the form of OT and or PT.

BUT..you can not "force" him to do what he needs to do to recover from this. HE has to be the one that wants to bet back to "normal".
You can discuss with him what you want, what you expect.

Not to put another thing on your plate but it might be time to see a lawyer about Will's, Trust's and all the other paperwork that you may need down the road if he does not "recover" or the TBI develops into a more serious diagnosis of dementia. (Head injuries are the 3rd most common cause of dementia in people under the age of 50. And another study found that a single head injury could lead to dementia later in life. So depending on his age now you/he may be at that threshold.)

Is he on an anti-depressant? Talk to his doc, he is obviously depressed. A therapist may also help.

How old is he? How was his health before the accident? Who was at fault? We're there fatalities?