How “normal” is it for an elderly father to say he’s not your father?

If there’s a question you want resolved, get a paternity test. I believe there’s a couple of judges that will hear the case. One is Judge Mathis on tv 📺 another Judge…she only hears these types of cases ..good luck and hugs 🤗

In my life, I have noticed that people tend to blame others of the behavior they are guilty of themselves. It is very likely that he was unfaithful and is now placing that behavior on his ex wife's.

Your dad isn't a very nice guy and you should not let his vile words occupy head space. I know, easier said then done. Maybe not having very much contact with him would be beneficial for you, at least until you can learn to disregard his attempts at not being responsible.

My dad tried to hurt me when he wasn't getting his way. It's like dealing with a giant, spoiled toddler. I would tell him I would stand him in the corner if I could. That was always enough to change the subject :-)

Best of luck getting through this.

Fatherson - I am really sorry for your pain. What a crappy excuse for a man your father is/was.

Please know that you are your own separate person. You don't need him or his permission to be a good decent human being that you are. The fact that he is such as horrible man, it's better to not be related to him.

You can get a DNA test through Ancestry.com. It will match you up to others that have taken the test. My "Dad" I had known since a year old. He married my Mom and adopted me. Mom was going to tell me who fathered me but I wasn't interested at the time. Aft Moms death, her friend told me she thought it was her cousin. My DD had a Ancestry test done and she has a first cousin with the name I was given. So I have a sibling at least.

I have two younger half siblings, and their mother had subpoenaed me to court for child support before he began his tirade. At the court hearing, he brought up paternity of these younger siblings.
I have never heard of a person being responsible for their siblings child support. How did this turn out is your Mom also their mom?

I also don't see why younger sibs are not talking to you. You are not responsible for the deeds of your Dad. You were probably in the same boat as they were.

I would just let things go for now. You say Dad has Dementia and family history of mental illness. He may not be responsible for what he says. And ur younger sibs, if they are under 18 I would wait till they are old enough to understand the dynamics between adults. Mom may have poisoned them to you. At this point you can't do anything.

Get a test for your own peace of mind. Forget stuff about wills -- nothing can be done to require him to put you in his -- but do it if it'll put your mind at ease.

Mind you, he also has to submit a test, too. If he doesn't or one of his relatives, then you won't learn anything.

I assume your mother is no longer around to ask?

Its quite possible you're not his biological son. Things like this are often kept a big secret forever, and taken to the grave. My birth mother took the name of my father with her to the grave and lied on my birth certificate about who my father was. Happened all the time, especially in the 50s and 60s, and kept hushed up.

What makes no sense is this: " I have two younger half siblings, and their mother had subpoenaed me to court for child support before he began his tirade." Since when do half siblings pay child support?????

I nor you have any idea if your father is off on a mental illness tirade or if he is not in fact your biological father. For you to say, in one breath, you would have no interest in meeting your biological father, and in the other, that you think about this matter daily and dream about your dad and brother, tells me you DO have an interest. We humans all have a natural birthright to know who we are and where we came from. Whether you strike up a relationship with a new biological family or not is another matter entirely. But you have a right to know the TRUTH and make a decision from there.

When I found my birth family, I opened a Pandora's Box I could NEVER close again. But I also discovered myself in the process. I waited too long, however, because my birth mother had died, taking the information about my birth father with her. And I was only 43 when I hired a private investigator to find them. I suggest you take the DNA test and get to the bottom of this matter asap. And discover your origins and whether your father has mental illness or not. That's important to know, and you owe it to yourself and your kids to find out.

I know the gut wrenching feelings associated with all of this. I wish you good luck and Godspeed....and courage....as you proceed.

There are two reasons to take the dna test.

First if he agrees to reinstate you in his will. Right now he’s cut you out with the assumption that you don’t have bio ties. Economically, you have nothing to lose.

Second is that if there’s not a genetic risk, you don’t have to worry about what he genetically has.

If you actually want to know if he is your biological father, it can be helpful to compare your date of birth with your parents’ marriage date. It is less uncommon for quick ‘cuckoo’ marriages to take place when a woman realises she is pregnant by accident to someone else. However the fact that he is making the same allegations about his second wife and two separate boys, makes that situation even less likely.

Try not to worry about the lack of contact with your half-brothers, particularly if they are still young. They will have been influenced by their mother, and they often think again in their late teens or when the influence ends.

Remember that this is confusing and upsetting, but many of us have difficult family dramas and simply live through them. Best wishes, Margaret

I am really surprised the family court did not make it mandatory that your father pay for DNA testing for him and all his kids, especially for your half siblings. Me, I would pay to have a DNA test done. His wife should have asked for them.

I too don't understand why, as an adult, you were brought into a support hearing. I don't even see how wife felt you should be paying support for kids you have no responsibility for legally.

I'm a little lost in some of the information: YOU were subpoenaed regarding child support by the mother of your half-siblings...and assuming their mother is not your mother...is this in order to get your "dad" to pay back child support? How is your testimony helping either of their cases? If she's not your bio mom, what diff does it make if you're not her bio-son for the purposes of child support?

Is the court telling you you must take the test? If not, you don't have to do it. My son had a child with a young women. This boy looks nothing like my son, or the mom, so I've often wondered about the true paternity. When my grandson was about 2, I asked my son if he had that same suspicion, and he said he had, but he loved his son so much that no dna test would change anything about their relationship (he didn't want to know and he certainly wouldn't tell his son if he ever found out). I so respect him for this.

I'm sorry your "dad" is trying to disavow his fatherhood... it sounds like such a weird situation. It may be due to his dementia (mentioned in your profile) but houo said this has been going of for about 15 years, so your father would have been aa much younger man then.

You can't choose your family but you can choose to have a relationship with them (or not). May your receive peace in your heart no matter what you decide to do or what the outcome of the test is.

its very common in people with dementia. The condition is called Capgras Syndrome . Please google it. Also referred to as imposter syndrome. My husband had it and swore I wasn’t his wife and I was his girlfriend posing as his wife. We were married 53 years and together since we were 16. Neither of us had ever been with anyone else. He needs to be evaluated. Good luck

You aren't responsible for child support for your Mother's other children.
And sure, pay for the DNA tests. Then you have your answer. Easy enough.
To me a father is the person who raises you and parents you, not some anonymous sperm donor, but my opinions on that are neither here nor there.
It's up to you what you want to do about this. I would do DNA. And whether he was my father or NOT, how much time I spent with him would depend on HIS BEHAVIOR alone.

If there is a question of paternity and there is child support involved I am surprised that the court did not require a paternity test.
If there is a question and it bothers you that much you can get tests for less than $200.00 (please notice that is a decimal point not a comma after the 00)

To answer your question though I do not believe in "normal" but it generally is not typical for a parent to question paternity. Now that changes if there is knowledge or evidence that would bring paternity into question. (good reason other than ratings that shows like Maury Povich are still on the air.)

For your own peace of mind get a test kit. (I saw some on line for as low as $15.00 for the kit and then you have to pay a lab fee of about $140.00. )