Should I keep her at my house and let her ruin my life, like she ruined hers?

Well no, of course not, you should definitely not keep mother at your house and let her ruin your life like she's ruined hers. Allow her to reside at the Skilled Nursing Facility where a team of caregivers will see to her care and management instead. This is not to be perceived as a 'punishment', but as a means to an end. Your mother has more needs than you are able to manage, as my mother did. I am only one human being, as you are. I was physically and emotionally unable to manage a woman who fell continuously, but said she 'didn't fall, she slipped'. Meanwhile, her azz was ON THE FLOOR and required several people to lift her up off of the floor and back up onto her wheelchair or the bed/chair, etc., meaning she technically DID fall. I could not lift 190 lbs up off of the floor, so my mother had no other choice BUT to live in managed care; Assisted Living first and then off to Memory Care when AL could no longer manage her physical needs combined with her dementia decline. The choice was out of my hands, as it is yours.

That said, I would not let the state take over her care. You can continue to MANAGE her care while she's in the SNF b/c in my experience, every elder needs an advocate while living in managed care. You can choose to be that advocate, and to bring her what she needs when she needs it, in terms of supplies, clothing, snacks, etc. You just get to relinquish management of her day-to-day care and all those falls, etc. That can all be done at your convenience and on your timetable. She'll be out of your house and being cared for by others, and that's the main goal.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Shes looking for attention.

Here is your gift, open it, do not bring her home. Let the state take her over.

You are in over your head, just say NO!

This is your opportunity, TAKE IT! Tell the SW that you cannot and are not willing to care for her anymore. Tell them you are done and the State can take over her care. Now she is in a NH you can walk away. Let the NH file for Medicaid. A guardian will be chosen for her. You can block the NHs calls. Police come to ur door, sorry I washed my hands of her.

Or, you can get her all set up with Medicaid and then walk away. Me, I would allow the state to take over. You were estranged from her for a reason.

Noooooooo!

I agree with everyone here. I feel her needs have exceeded what you’re able to do for her at home safely. If she has the means, I would keep her in a NH permanently.

I never understood why people let others ruin their lives. Ohhhh maybe the good old guilt trip??? I don’t believe our parents should rob us of our mental health.

At some stage, an elder's health needs often exceed what ONE person can manage in a home setting.

Then either paid aides are required in shifts, or a move into a residential care setting.

Is Mom in the nursing home now?

Is dementia part of the picture? If so, this is progressive - needs will increase. Mom's judgement will also get worse.

Focus on what she NEEDS, rather than what she wants.

Hell no. Don't consider it for even a fraction of a second.

No.

Tell them her care is more then you can safely provide and she needs permanent placement.

Unsafe discharge is what you want them to fully understand, regardless if what she tells them.