Covid certainly has been a good excuse for some hasn't it?

I'm sick and tired of Covid excuse #3,423,301 which is used for EVERYTHING under the sun these days. And I mean EVERYTHING. Including not visiting elders who live in managed care residences. My cousins sure used that excuse as to why they didn't visit my mother in Memory Care, and now that she's died, are wondering why they didn't receive an invite to her funeral service! Good one, huh? Ironically enough, one of these cousins is now saying his wife HAS Covid and can't attend mom's funeral service ANYWAY, in spite of not being invited in the first place. You can't make this sh*t up, can you?

Gershun wrote the following in another post about siblings, which might help you:

“One other thing changed along the way. I lost all respect for them too. I don't look up to them, don't care what they think of me anymore and that's that. 

Forget about them. Instead be proud of yourself and all you've done.”

Any excuse will do when you're looking for one!

I am surprised, from reading responses, how much Covid-19 is still even this much a discussed subject. I think it isn't much in my own city. We all pretty much recognize from radio reports (like daily weather reports) where our city is "at". Up right now from 49 hospitalizations a few months ago to about 1,200. New BA variants in our water, and another on the way from India. New variants infecting us whether we have all the shots of not (but less likely to kill us), and infecting us AGAIN even if we had another variant a month or so ago. That's the news.
Mask up or no (your choice) in public, on transit. And life goes on. So far, this many years in my partner and I have not got it. We are careful but it isn't limiting our lives anymore. I will be off on a month long trip this month by airline, knowing I will likely be sitting next to someone "with it" and in a N95 mask. However, in Michigan a "family reunion" of my daughter's in-laws saw ALL infected save ONE (the one in her 90s who doesn't believe in masks), even the 18 month old baby.
It's just "here" and as they say, will be with us, like the common cold forever in all likelihood, (but more likely to kill us in some circumstances.
I don't see people using it too much as an excuse, because to give up "living" for something that we cannot avoid, doesn't make sense. Everyone knows to mask up or not at their own choice/peril.
I just think when you hear someone make an excuse just recognize it is their polite (or corwardly, dependent on how you look at it) way of saying they would as soon not do something.
If we are not now going to visit because of fear of Covid I would say we might as well recognize we will never again visit. Which of course, for some, is an option.
We are only --what--about three years in on Covid as a disorder-disease. It is new to us. We are used to "cancer" or "copd" or "heart disease" taking some of us out. But not used to this one. Given the political climate it gets "used". We will adapt. Never fear. Just allow everyone to make their own choices, and you make yours.

YOU can not change them
You CAN change your reaction to what they are doing/not doing.
If dad asks why they don't visit your reply should be "I have no idea, maybe you should give them a call and ask"
(This is if he can make a call, if he is cognizant to do so)
Don't make excuses for anyone, for their lack of visiting.
Visit as you have.
Enjoy the visits you have and try to make the best of it.

Today, SO got dispatched to a unit with a covid positive to change a light bulb. They gave SO an n95 and arranged with the resident to be in a different room wearing a mask. On SOs arrrival, the senior is not wearing a mask and the light bulb is above the residents bed with the resident in it.

So yes we feel like we shouldn’t see our parents until getting a couple negative tests.

Since I'll bet no one involved is in the medical field, I'd be the last to question their motives if they're trying not to pass Covid on to Dad.

That said, Facetime is a thing, and you should set it up for Dad and them. Stop with the drama of trying to make others be you, and try for family harmony instead.

Caringlove,

We do live in the age of technology you know. Your siblings could "visit" with their father via live video chat. All you need for that is a cellphone.
So instead of chastizing or trying to lay a guilt trip for them because they aren't willing to enter a hospital or NH because of Covid, set up "visiting" times where you will be at the hospital or NH with your father and can help him video chat with his other kids and even grandkids.
People still do have to go to work even in Covid times beause yes, there's a paycheck involved. If there isn't a paycheck then a home can't be paid for. If there's no home, then the family is homeless.
Many jobs don't have unlimited sick time that a person can take and Covid can make a person sick for a long time. I was flat on my back sick for almost two months. I'm lucky that I didn't have to pay rent or utilities or groceries.
I will not take an unnecessary risk and visit in a hospital or NH and I'm vaccinated.
Set up video chat visits with your siblings and help your father with it.

Have you said to the two absentees that Dad keeps asking for them, and seems really hurt about just hearing excuses? They should at least be aware that it does matter to him, that he loves them and wants to see them.

My sister used covid as an "excuse" to not visit my mom, even going so far as to try it when mom was actively dying. When my husband explained that covid really wasn't a concern at that point with mom, because she was already dying from CHF, she tried to blame it on being "too busy" with work.

But my sister has always been like this, long before covid was even a thing, so I had no surprise whatsoever that she used it as a convenient excuse. Deep down, she's nothing but a coward who couldn't face our mother's death. So she left it for as long as she could, knowing mom had me and our other sister. And yeah, like you, I was angry and bitter through the year and a half that mom grew sicker and sicker.

But you know what? I'm free of her now. I don't have to worry about excluding her anymore because my biggest concern - that she would complain to my mom and put her in the middle of warring children, which I so didn't want to do, especially once my mom got so sick - was gone once my mom drew her last breath.

My other sister and I, along with our spouses, are going on a 3 week cruise leaving the end of the month. I don't have to feel bad anymore about not inviting absentee sis, I don't have to worry about her finding out somehow and then bringing it to my mom's door, so to speak... I won't purposely tell her (like, ha ha we're going and you're not) but I don't have to be on eggshells worrying someone will let something "slip" when she's around. My attitude is now one of: you can't be a member of the family during the "fun" times - holidays, vacations, etc. - without pulling your weight during the "dark" times. Frankly, it's freeing.

I'm sorry for the pain that dad - and then you, on witnessing it - are going through. It really is amazing that siblings sharing the same upbringing can be so incredibly different. I hope you and dad can find some peace while dealing with this.