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GmaTeresa Asked July 2022

How do I get mom to agree to move to a RCF memory care unit when she doesn't want to? She has dementia, ALZ. She has a reverse mortgage home.

My mom is 86, practically bedridden, and has late onset dementia. She is on Medicare, Medicaid, and has a reverse mortgage on her home. She lives alone since my dad died 18-months ago. For six months my daughter has been her live-in caregiver. She is temporarily helping so I can try to sell mom's home for her care $$$,$$$$ somehow? Or does Medicaid (the State) take the home when there's an opening at an appropriate nearby RCF? I don't know what to do next.

AlvaDeer Jul 2022
The home is an exempt asset.
Why are you selling? Is this a reverse mortgage that demands payment of the "loan" when Mom leaves the house?
If she has been on medicaid there may be some clawback on the sale of the home. And the sale of the home will also mean the stopping of medicaid as she will at that point have whatever assets are involved (may not be a lot as reverse mortgage will need to be paid as obligation number one.
Who is the POA? Does the POA have the RIGHT to sell the home by the POA (would have to be a well written document).
You badly need to see an elder law attorney or a trust and estate attorney regarding all this. Legal, medical and financial questions need to be answered by experts and professionals operating in your area. The POA provides for payment of the legal help you need.
Please don't count on the experiences of those of us in Forums; they may vary from yours and you don't want to be led astray by bad advice.
Wishing you the very best and hoping you'll update as you go.

Grandma1954 Jul 2022
I don't want to do a lot of things but I have to.
This would be a different response if she did not have dementia. She no longer has the capacity to make rational, safe decisions for herself. YOU or whoever is POA must take on that task.
For her safety she should be in a facility where she will get the care that she needs.
If no one is her POA then you or someone would be appointed her Guardian. If no one wants to be her Guardian then the court would appoint one and she would be made a Ward of the State. They would then make decisions as to where she would reside and they would take over any financial tasks that need to be done.

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