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Ilovelen Asked July 2022

I am 87 years of age and been taking care of my mentally challenged daughter her whole life. She is 66 and is in a nursing home. Any advice?

My daughter now has to be in for long term and they want to take her social security check. The only income I have is my social security and my daughter's. I am struggling now to pay bills, taxes, mortgage, etc.. If they take her check I will lose my house within a year. Is there any other option for us? She can't come home because with all her ailments plus the fact that she is barely mobile I can not take care of her anymore. I'm 87 years old. Is there any way she can go in long term without them taking her social security?

Cover999 Jul 2022
Try to get a Case Manager

Isthisrealyreal Jul 2022
Ilovelen,

If I was in your shoes, I would call SSA and find out if you qualify for any additional income, maybe your husband's, if you haven't already claimed it, maybe supplemental security income? It is well worth checking into.

Then contact your county assessors office and find out about getting your property taxes reduced, do this with all of your utilities too.

I am a bit surprised that you have a mortgage at 87 but, I would contact the lender and find out if you can refinance or if they have any programs they know of that can help you keep your home.

You should go to your local senior center and ask them if they have any ideas.

You may have to downsize, that way you don't lose the equity you have by having it foreclosed on.

You are going to need to be creative, because you won't get your daughters social security. It is going towards her care, as it should be.

I am sorry you are facing this at your age, it must be scary to be facing this. I wish you the best of luck sorting this out.

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Grandma1954 Jul 2022
I am surprised that they have not been taking her SS right from the start.
He SS is for Her. It is to be used for her care, her housing, food, clothing....
Her SS is not to be used to subsidize your SS.
Options you m ight have would be to move to a less expensive place, Senior Housing, a Condo are 2 options.
See what can be done to reduce your bills as much as possible.
Ask the Village (City...) if there is a Senior discount on sewer, water, garbage if you are paying for any of those.
Ask the Gas and Electric company if you can be put on a "budget plan" that usually averages the bills over the year.
Food bills can be reduced by visiting your local Food Pantry.
I know a lot of people are embarrassed by that idea but think of it as a bank and you are "borrowing" food. When things get a bit better you can "repay" by donating items when you can. Add a few extra thing as the "interest" on your loan. We all need a bit of help now and then.
Get involved at your local Senior Center some offer free or low cost lunches. Look into meals on Wheels for yourself.
contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if there are programs you ight qualify for.

AlvaDeer Jul 2022
I am so sorry to tell you that no, there is no other option. I hope you come up with other ideas. Your daughter's social security is hers, and for her and her care.
Might there be option for you to take in a roommate or a boarder, to do cat or dog sitting, any thing that you might think of at all.
Try senior centers in your area for ideas. There are ways that you can pay next to nothing for phone, for services such as heating and light. There are many things for those on no incomes and low incomes. Also give up internet and try to do that at the library. I know there are things you may not have thought of. I wish I had more ideas for you.
Please call the local council on aging and ask for any help they can advise or avail you of, including meals on wheels. I am so very sorry for the difficulties you are facing. My very best to you.

Becky04489 Jul 2022
No Even if she gets Medicaid the NH will have to have her check. It may be time for you to sell your house and move into less expensive housing.

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