What should I do about not being able to see mom and dad for their 70th anniversary?

Your mother is entitled to sound sad that you're not going to be in attendance at her 70th wedding anniversary celebration. She's not 'making' you feel anything......you're choosing to feel guilty b/c mom is feeling sad, is what's really happening. Make up your mind to go or not go, but don't make mom the bad guy for feeling sad her daughter is not going to be there! She's not reading you the riot act, after all, or saying foul things to you, as many of our mother's here WOULD do! Be grateful for that, at least.

You can easily board the puppy and/or drive your car to her home or fly there. Own it if you choose not to. And if you feel guilty as a result, so be it. You can't have it both ways.

If this is just about the dog, you can board it for the visit. There may well be other reasons, like you don’t really want to go, but simply not leaving your dog for a couple of days is a a poor excuse.

Here's what you tell them:

"I understand your 70th anniversary is a milestone occasion that few people live to see and that you'd like to have your whole family together for such an auspicious occasion, but my puppy is more important to me than you are."

Seems like that's the gist of it, right? Since you'd never board your dog, we know he'll be your top priority longer than your parents will be alive, so you might as well tell them not to count on you from here on out.

Shame on you.

When is the anniversary, and how are your parents planning to celebrate it? If it isn't imminent perhaps there's time to work something out other than:

"I can't come to your party, you should have given us more notice, but why don't you two people in your nineties get on a plane and come to us for a month instead?"

And what about their dog? Do they still have a dog?

I never quite know what to say when posters seem to be asking for confirmation that it is absolutely fine for them to do whatever it is they're going to do anyway.

Your parents' 70th wedding anniversary has been in the calendar for seventy years. Did you not guess they might like to celebrate it? - and perhaps have "a bit of a do" that might involve people besides just yourself?

If you don't want to go, don't go. But don't expect your mother to be okay with it - it isn't okay.

Board the puppy.

maximus1, as we get older, traveling isn't as easy as it use to be.

I found that my parents, who also were in their 90's, still viewed me as being 35 with a ton of energy, still traveling the world, yada, yada, yada. I just couldn't convince them that I, too, was a senior citizen. Those days of long travel was now history.

Don't use the puppy as an excuse, just tell your parents that traveling is difficult now a days. Covid is peeking around the corner again, masks will probably need to be required to fly, staff shortages, and rude angry passengers, not to mention very long lines, and flight delays. Plus shortages of rental cars.

Don't forget, what I listed above, your parents would face if they came to visit you.

Maximus 1 I want to tell you I know what intentional guilt feels like when you are getting mix messages. All your responses are confused by our loved one's mental condition. You can no longer base your choices on their responses. You have to make a decision and pray for the best. it seems to me she really wanted you to come but she did not let you know. But if the truth be told it would be quite an inconvenience to you giving the things that you mention. I have a mom who is 85 years old, and I felt guilty all the time because she seems so sad as she is aging. What I am trying to say to you is your parents are getting older and their needs are changing. Do the very best you can, and make changes when and where you can.

Mom is not “making” you feel guilty. You are doing that to yourself.

Could you trust a reliable pet sitter for a few days?

I spent the last week in June on a cruise. I had to fly back thru Canada having a 9 hr LO in Toronto. It was a nightmare. We had not flown since 2010 and that was non-stop to Vegas. After 11pm the airport has only a skeleton crew and one place to eat. No one to help us get where we needed to go. Then security and customs just making our flight. Oh, and our first flight was cancelled. So needed to get another flight. My DH and I are 72 and 75 and I will never fly again unless its non-stop. I just looked up to see what I would have to do to visit a friend in WA me flying from Philly. No matter how I work it there is a layover. Some places 8 hrs.

At 90 years old do you really think your parents can fly to you. To be honest, I don't know if I would fly to them with the way things are now. Not just the security thing but the COVID thing. We have never had it but contracted it somewhere on our trip. Flights are being cancelled left and right.

Not everyone makes 70 yrs of Marriage. Its a shame u will miss it because you have no one to care for the puppy. You wouldn't even trust your vet to kennel the pup?

Unless there is some big party, I am not sure why you are expected to attend. Sure it would be nice but not everyone can just walk away from their current obligations, let alone afford to take a plane ride out AND kennel a dog. As another poster mentioned...do you fly out on every birthday too?