My sister has dementia and refuses help. There is no one in her house and she will not go to an assisted living place. What can I do, she has no children?
Who is helping your sister now? Do you live near her? You might want to call the local Area on Aging in her county and explain her situation. Sometimes they have the resources to do a needs analysis and help guide you to local resources based on your sisters unique situation. Do a search for area agency on aging, her county, her state to find their office. This is often where you can sign up for Meals on Wheels if you think that will be helpful. As others have said, sometimes it is difficult to persuade a loved one to seek help until they have an accident or illness that lands them in the hospital. Then it is important to be ready to help the hospital understand her living circumstances.
With dementia she should be in Memory Care not AL. If no one has POA or other legal authority there is not much you can do until something happens. IF you think her home is unsafe, or she is unsafe in it or she is not caring for herself you can make a call to APS or your State's Elder Abuse hotline. A follow up by APS may put in motion the possibility of Guardianship. But until that happens or if she is take to the hospital there is not much you can do., If she is taken to the hospital you talk to the Social Worker and explain that she can not be released to home as she is unsafe and has not caregivers. (and that is IF you are notified if she is take to the hospital )
You know, sometimes we just have to wait for an accident to happen to an elderly loved one, unfortunately. Then they're rushed to the ER for treatment, admitted to the hospital, sent to rehab to recuperate and then the doctor refuses to release them back home to live independently. THEN they have no other choice but to be placed in managed care. Period. That's what happened to my father after he fell and broke his hip. Even though he lived in Independent Living with my mother, the rehab SNF refused to release him back there with mom helping him; she was too old and feeble herself to qualify as a 'caregiver', so I had to place them both in Assisted Living. Done and done.
Stubbornness doesn't really help the elder in the long run. In reality, your sister is better off making a wise decision for herself NOW than having someone else make it FOR her later. But, with dementia at play, logic & reason has flown the coop, so there's that to consider as well.
If you hold POA for her, however, you can have her placed in Memory Care against her will, if she's diagnosed with dementia. If she's living in unsafe conditions, and has the financial wherewithal to pay her own way in MC, then you can move her in whether she wants to go or not. That's your call.
So sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I know how darn frustrated you feel, too, and helpless to solve this problem. Best of luck.
I'm so sorry that you are both in this distressing situation.
The basic facts are: if she does not have a DPoA assigned, then you do not have any control. Therefore (if she doesn't cooperate with any help) you must contact Adult Protective Services (APS) and report her as a vulnerable adult. They will come in and assess her situation and will likely move for guardianship at some point. Then they will have the legal ability to get her the medical and personal care she needs. They will a facility for her and manage all her financial assets, including her house. You can be the guardian's best resource by providing them with important information and personal preferences that she has. You may even be able to influence where she goes (if it's too far away for you to reasonable travel to visit her).
You don't have to tell your sister that you're doing this, but you may want to inform her neighbors and friends to her current condition and situation so that they can help keep an eye on her in the interim.
I wish you much success in helping her and peace in your heart that this is the best that can be done by you or anyone, given the circumstances.
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You might want to call the local Area on Aging in her county and explain her situation.
Sometimes they have the resources to do a needs analysis and help guide you to local resources based on your sisters unique situation. Do a search for area agency on aging, her county, her state to find their office. This is often where you can sign up for Meals on Wheels if you think that will be helpful.
As others have said, sometimes it is difficult to persuade a loved one to seek help until they have an accident or illness that lands them in the hospital. Then it is important to be ready to help the hospital understand her living circumstances.
If no one has POA or other legal authority there is not much you can do until something happens.
IF you think her home is unsafe, or she is unsafe in it or she is not caring for herself you can make a call to APS or your State's Elder Abuse hotline. A follow up by APS may put in motion the possibility of Guardianship.
But until that happens or if she is take to the hospital there is not much you can do.,
If she is taken to the hospital you talk to the Social Worker and explain that she can not be released to home as she is unsafe and has not caregivers. (and that is IF you are notified if she is take to the hospital )
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Stubbornness doesn't really help the elder in the long run. In reality, your sister is better off making a wise decision for herself NOW than having someone else make it FOR her later. But, with dementia at play, logic & reason has flown the coop, so there's that to consider as well.
If you hold POA for her, however, you can have her placed in Memory Care against her will, if she's diagnosed with dementia. If she's living in unsafe conditions, and has the financial wherewithal to pay her own way in MC, then you can move her in whether she wants to go or not. That's your call.
So sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I know how darn frustrated you feel, too, and helpless to solve this problem. Best of luck.
The basic facts are: if she does not have a DPoA assigned, then you do not have any control. Therefore (if she doesn't cooperate with any help) you must contact Adult Protective Services (APS) and report her as a vulnerable adult. They will come in and assess her situation and will likely move for guardianship at some point. Then they will have the legal ability to get her the medical and personal care she needs. They will a facility for her and manage all her financial assets, including her house. You can be the guardian's best resource by providing them with important information and personal preferences that she has. You may even be able to influence where she goes (if it's too far away for you to reasonable travel to visit her).
You don't have to tell your sister that you're doing this, but you may want to inform her neighbors and friends to her current condition and situation so that they can help keep an eye on her in the interim.
I wish you much success in helping her and peace in your heart that this is the best that can be done by you or anyone, given the circumstances.