My mom is going to drive me crazy with her questions. Any advice?

I know this torture well. It's the equivalent of "death by a thousand cuts". In this case, it's "madness by a thousand repetitive questions."

My mom did the same to me and drove me mad. I had to save my sanity.

I ignored her questions.
I moved far from ear shot so I wouldn't hear her questions.
If I heard, I just grunted, nodded, said "uh huh", "yes", "yeah", "sure", or anyone word answer.
If she didn't like my replies, and started asking more and more, I just left the room.

You must remove yourself from this insanity. Or else, you will lose it mentally, your blood pressure will skyrock, you will resent your mother, even hate her. No, no, you don't want to go there.

Don't worry me about her being mad or disappointed, because she won't remember any of it later on.

Oh my I sure do feel for you! It's exasperating! My mom 86 does the same thing. Her focus is on the cats. It goes: where are all my cats? I haven't seen them for 48 hours. Are they in the garage? Do they know where their food is? Have you seen the kittens? Are they in the house? And so on and so on and so on. Mind you the cats are literally in front or next to her sleeping all the while. It's mind numbing. So I have a simple reply, the same exact wording, for each question: your cats are safe and sound in the house. I give this exact answer each time verbatim. After several of these answers she stops the questions for an hour or two. When she starts up I just answer the same way word for word, like a broken record. It doesn't stop the questions but it takes the stress out of having to actually think about those annoying questions. And it takes no thought at all so you can do other things while this is going on. She's not going to stop asking, cant fix that. But you don't have to think about it. Maybe find a simple answer like Carl is out of town for a few days...we'll call him when he gets back. Or whatever fits your situation. It sounds like she might not remember your answer anyway so make it something easy for you repeat. I hope this helps a bit.

My mom also asks the same questions over and over every day and I answer them the same way mostly every time.

She asks where my deceased brother is and I tell her he's gone home. That satisfies her with out breaking her heart again and again.

She asks where my deceased ex-husband is and when he's coming home (she's living with me in my home where he used to live) and I tell her he's in SC - (he's buried there).

She asks where my dad is and I tell her that I don't know.
She asks where her mother and her dad are and I tell her I don't know.
She asks if I've spoken to her mother today and I always say no.

She asks where my two young adult children are and I tell her where they are.

She asks what day it is and what time it is over and over and over and I tell her whatever comes to mind because it doesn't matter either way.

She asks me where I am and I tell her I'm "right here" and she usually says that I'm not me.

She asks where she is because she thinks she's "a patient" and I tell her she's at home.

I never try to recalibrate her because it just causes her stress and she then she's forgotten in five minutes anyway. The goal for me is to satisfy her that everyone is okay and she's okay.

It's just what it is. She's trying to get her mental bearings. It's sad.

It takes an exceptional amount of patience to deal with an elder suffering from dementia due to them asking the same question a thousand times. You need to get respite from caregiving, so think about hiring caregivers to come into your home for 4 hours a day to give you a break. Or get mom enrolled in a daycare program locally which will give you some time to yourself to regroup before the questions start rolling in again. Try distraction techniques to get mom off the subject of Uncle Carl, but that's only so good for so long before the same question surfaces yet again. Once they're stuck in a loop, I know of nothing short of a miracle to get them OFF of it.

Consider Memory Care placement if the caregiving becomes too much to bear. My mother did great in MC for the almost 3 years she was there.

Best of luck!

This may seem a bit odd to some however in this situation anything is worth a try.
Not sure if you are familiar with the "Alexa Echo Dot" device but I think it might be of some help if your mom is open to the idea or able to comprehend and interact with it with some help. It is always there to answer as many questions your mom can come up with. Playing music she likes of any kind and so much more. If it helps her -- and you it would be worth it. She may think it's a lot of fun. My mom uses it a lot! I hope this may be something you are able to try out - even reading books to her. I am familiar with a lot of the difficulties for your mom and you and I really hope you find a bit of help and a lot of fun too. Take care

Try to be patient.

If you had kids, you went through the endless "Why? Why? Why?" phase, so you've been here before. You also know that was a phase that ended eventually, and this will, too.

The difference is that your children gained more language and could eventually express themselves more and carry on a conversation, but your mom will eventually stop talking and you'll miss her voice.

Teepa Snow is very good on the subject of handling repetitive questioning without going up the wall - you should be able to find her talks online.

Can you broaden the questions into a conversation about your mother's memories of Carl when they were younger? Is there any particular preoccupation to do with him that she's returning to again and again?

There has been some good advice on this forum, especially just answering her without letting it get under your skin. My mom did the same thing in the early stages of the disease but now, it’s much less. The disease has advanced so much that she says only a few words per day. It’s sad because she used to laugh and joke. I hate this disease.

No one touched on this. IMO your Mom is now "back in time". She and Carl are now children and she is looking for her older brother. Maybe answer "he is out playing with his friends, he will be back at dinner time" See what kind of reaction you get.

I believe people suffering from Dementia eventually revert back to childhood. Someone asked my Mom one day how her kids were doing. Indignantly she told the person "I have no children" and I was standing right there. She had me at 21. So she was somewhere in time that she wasn't even married. The look on her face was like "why does this person think I would have children". She forgot my Dad long before this incident and believe me was someone you didn't forget.

I would ask her doctor about this and see if she can be given something to calm her a little.

This is typical dementia behavior. People's minds get in a loop (usually about something that happened in childhood) and they keep replaying the same story. In my mother's memory care unit I had some "conversations" with one of the men who also lived there, and he told me the same story over and over. You can keep repeating the same reassuring statements, as suggested in some of the other responses. She won't remember what you said previously. Tune it out so that you don't go crazy. I have not found signs, logic or instructions to work. Play along with it. Try to see some humor in it. She'll go through many stages. This is only one of them.