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Feliciamcg Asked August 2022

My mother recently passed away and my father (83) has parkinson's and dementia. Any advice?

He can't walk or take care of himself in any way. He's on hospice now. He can't be left alone at all. I'm doing 12 hrs a day (35 min drive each way) and my brother is doing the other 12 hrs. We both have families to take care of. When this first began we thought it would be for only a couple of weeks, but now know this could go on indefinitely. I told my brother that I can no longer do this and our father needs to be in a nursing home. My brother is hesitant to "pawn him off on somebody" and says my dad will refuse to go. I have put down a deadline of one week to make a decision and get the ball rolling to a more permanent solution. Any help or insight would be appreciated!!

Cover999 Aug 2022
Im sorry for the loss of your mom

freqflyer Aug 2022
Feliciamcg, my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your Mom.

Regarding your Dad, first thing is to ask Hospice what they think the time line would be? If Hospice feels the timeline could be months out, then arranging for your Dad to go to a nursing home is a good idea, if Dad can pay the monthly cost. If cost is a factor, then get the ball rolling to get him onto Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].

In a nursing home, one isn't pawned off to someone else, the employees are dedicated workers, each with a skill to handle different situations. There does come a time where it now take a village to care for a love one, and the time is now. Plus Hospice will still be part of the picture.
Cover999 Aug 2022
Which many do with pills

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JoAnn29 Aug 2022
Your Dad has Dementia so he is not capable of making informed decisions. Good that you put a time limit on it. If Dad has the money, place him in LTC with Hospice. Maybe an Assisted living would allow you to do this, which would be cheaper. Medicaid will take at least 3 months to apply for and receive.

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