New Neighbor knocking on the wall at night. Any suggestions?

It's worth pointing out that

YOU get annoyed that the new neighbors knock on your wall but

You expect the neighbors to NOT to get annoyed with your mom's shouting.

If the neighbor reports this to the landlord, this could result in your having to leave. Every tenant is entitled to “quiet enjoyment” of their home.

Just unfollowed this tread.

OP is more emboldened now that she has a friend in the rental office who backs her and her screaming mother up, basically giving the middle finger to the neighbors.

"My mother can shout and scream all she wants in the dead of night, and you can just suck it."

Inconsiderate, rude, and selfish.

OP, may you have many years and decades of diaper changing in the dead of nights.

Bye!

p.s. I hope the neighbors will sue the owner for all the moving costs, and any differential in rental expense between the current and the new place.

I am in utter shock that you Bint, can think negatively impinging on anyone's space, that they pay for, is acceptable.

I think that fair housing laws will soon see your "friend" fired and possibly sued. With you as a named defendant.

I think you should be completely ashamed of your selfishness in this matter. You definitely know how to make enemies with your entitled attitude.

Who thinks that anyone should willingly, with a smile, put up with being jarred awake by screaming for a half hour nightly?

I agree with the neighbor, being woken up past midnight due to a screaming demented elder would make me bang walls too. Yes, they very much can, and probably should call the police if the issue is not resolved. She's disturbing the peace.

Maybe move her bed to a different room, as far away from them as possible.

Whilst I understand your situation I too wouldn't be best pleased if I was in the neighbours situation. They may well sympathise with your mums situation too but if their sleep is getting disturbed that's not fair on them and their life which will be just as important to them as yours/yours mums is to you.

I read your post about Mom not peeing all day and releasing it at night. IMO, not peeing all day is a problem and a UTI is more likely than if she is left wet all night. I think her not going all day is a problem and should be mentioned to the doctor. Seems she can hold it but then when she is relaxed sleeping she can't.

Can't find the response and some mentioned Lasix water pills. Is Mom on this?

I think your office friend maybe mixing up "medical" condition and the Disabilities Act. Dementia is not a disability. I have to agree that when this person rented, he should have been told about the neighbor. Since he wasn't, he does have a good cause to sue the Landlord.

I know some of us may seem a little harsh in their responses but your neighbor does not have to be sympathetic to your problem. Mom may be becoming more than u can handle and u may have to place her. Maybe reread the responses and write down the suggestions and see what ones you can use. Really, its up to u to solve this problem.

BitUmi,

I could be wrong here, but the gist I am getting is:

1. You feel there’s absolutely no way to stop mom’s screaming.

2. You feel the neighbors should be more forgiving since mom has dementia (can’t help herself) and screams “only” for around 30 minutes. After midnight.

3. You are not liking the replies here that say the neighbors have every right to be mad. Which they do.

You say you’ve tried everything to keep mom calm, but mentioned nothing about medications or ways to avoid changing her at night. It really looks like medication is the only way to go here. Everyone in this situation is miserable!

It is unfair to think neighbors should tolerate the screaming. They pay to live there too. It would be one thing if the incidents were few and far between, but every single night? Even if they knew why she screams, the reason means little when they are woken up every night.

Your options: Get mom some melatonin or other medical relief. Find a way so she doesn’t need changing during the night. Move mom’s bed away from walls or in another room. Or consider memory care, because this is not going to get better and it looks like mom is needing more care than you can provide anymore.

Why on earth wouldn't you talk to the neighbors? You need to apologize sincerely, explain the situation --not use it as an excuse as in "I'm sorry, but my mother has dementia" -- then incorporate the suggestions here to alleviate the problem.

That's how to be a good neighbor, clear the air, and keep tempers at bay.

Good grief! Put some Cavilon Durable Barrier cream or some type of diaper cream on her once you change her diaper before bed. Then, change your mothers diaper the next morning! Zinc Oxide ointment (16 oz Jar) and Vaseline Petroleum Jelly (16 oz Jar) will work too. Its not worth the trouble & problems you're creating by wanting to change moms diaper at all. You have enough going on without creating a ruckus in the middle of the night with your neighbors.