Hi! How do you deal with cash in the house? Caregivers have stolen cash.

with the caregiver angle, are these people bonded or with a firm? If so a discussion needs to be had with the things you are seeing or concerned about. Feel free to confront the people.

I have an individual who cleans my dads place 2x per week. I zelle her and then he will tip in cash. My dad use to like 3000 cash in the house. I’ve been working on bringing that down to 500 or less. He has dementia and now lost monetary wits.

all tips are put on small envelopes on a Sunday night for the week. The envelope system has been great. I also only have people i can trust helping. The housekeeper lets me know if he pushed more money on her.

Put some counterfeit money in your moms wallet. All kidding aside, use a fireproof lockbox for cash and other important items.

While you've gotten some good responses so far, no one has mentioned installing or placing security cameras around the house, specifically where said cash is held. That way you could catch them red handed and find out if it in fact is actually happening.
I use the Blink cameras around my house, and they're quite inexpensive, but there are many options out there as well.
Good luck in getting to the bottom of this.

Our local Acme have their own Gift Cards. You could buy these in certain increments. To keep aides from adding on items for themselves you need to write the grocery list and they need to supply a receipt. Use a white board. Tell the aides to write on the board what is needed. Do not leave these cards in Moms house. Pick a shopping day and leave what is needed. Inform the aide that she is to buy nothing for herself with the card.

We had one member who bought in bulk. The aides caring for her MIL were stealing toilet paper and papertowels. Really, it was very obvious. So she started locking it up and only leaving out what she thought they would need. I would leave no money anywhere. Not even in Moms purse. I would remove her jewelry box. Hide it. Anything worth any money. Take pictures so u can prove things are missing.

I worked for a VN association and they had a food closet. We used to give Gift Cards out with our food bags until we found that people were selling them for cash and the person who bought them was buying cigarettes with them. The clerk at the Acme caught this and called me. She knew we only gave one or two giftcards out at a time and the man had a handful. She suggested we right "FOOD ONLY" on the back of the card with a permanent marker.

To me, this is too much of a hassle just so Mom can stay in her home. With the money she is putting out for aides, she could be in a nice Assisted Living. I am already getting into my mind that is where I am going when I start needing help.

Walmart also has a delivery subscription service. They’re trying to compete with Amazon Prime. It’s been great, we get things usually with 24 hours. As for caregivers stealing, secure your valuables. But don’t believe too much of what mom says. Her brain is sick.

venting, does your Mom have dementia? If yes, and she is telling you that the caregivers are stealing the cash, you need to take that information with a grain of salt.

I would hate to see the caregivers being blame when later down the road you find that Mom had stashed away that cash in a dresser drawer.

At one time I noticed my late Mom's diamond ring was missing from the ring box in her dresser. Glad I didn't blame the caregivers because years later, while dusting a large basket of fake flowers, that once sat in my parent's home, there was her ring. How it got there is still a mystery.

I agree with PeggySue2020: go online and have as much delivered as possible. InstaCart is great. Yes there is a fee but it is well worth the convenience and security of not having cash in the house.

If you don't want to do that (not sure why you wouldn't) then get GIFT CARDS for the stores (never a credit or debit card!!!) where the caregivers pick up supplies and require them to hand back a receipt that you review with them so they don't sneak their own items into the purchase. But this is a hassle. Just get Amazon Prime and InstaCart accounts. Literally almost everything can be delivered, quickly and securely!

To clarify: are you finding the theft yourself or is your mother telling you they are stealing money? I have to ask because the theft paranoia is a hallmark delusion of early dementia. You can just read on this forum and hundreds/thousands of posts are about this. My own MIL told me her purse was stolen about once a week, and that her husband had $1500 in cash pickpocketed at the grocery store. None of it was true. Please make sure you mother is not imagining it.

You should also be securing anything in her home that has any sensitive info or value or that you'd mourn if it were stolen: jewelry, prescription medications, passport, driver's license, etc. Trust NO ONE. Theft is often a crime of opportunity, so don't give it any.

One ‘trap’ is to leave out a small amount of cash at the beginning of a shift and check at the end of the shift. Make sure that Mother won’t pick it. If it’s gone at the end of the shift, you know who took it. If the carer is hired through an agency, report it. My sister’s experience (over around $1000) was that the agency didn’t want it to be reported to the police (wanted to hang on to the carer), but it’s up to you what steps you take.

When I was a child, my mother had a cleaner for a while, and it was drummed into us that we should not leave any money or valuables in view. My mother said that Mrs Schmidt was hard up, and we should not put temptation in her way. It was our fault, not hers.

Perhaps a combination of both approaches would be best. Yours, Margaret

Could you set up an instacart and pharmacy account on cards only you control? You know what approximately she eats. Poops. Needs paper or hygiene. Those will be provided, and all the CGs have to do is wait for it.

I would suggest you stock the above at about 130 percent of your estimated need.