My father is in his 70s. His behavior drives me crazy. How can I have more patience?

HA, ohh yes. My mother and I haven't gotten along since I was seven years old. Actually when my father was younger he would tell interesting stories about his World War II days, and she would shut him down because she was afraid we'd be bored, which we weren't. He's passed, but my mother is 98, can't hear, but is in otherwise excellent shape for someone that age. she still lives in her house and my brother comes over once a week to help her with household things. Because she can't hear she can't get involved in other peoples conversations so she just randomly makes remarks out of the blue. If her children visit, which are the only visitors she ever has, she acts the martyr about how hard she worked to cook pizza in the oven. When we say there's absolutely no need for her to do anything, we would do it or call delivery, she gets upset. I hate going over there, I'm always doing something wrong, She's always telling me how to sit, how to get a plate for food, how to drink. She's always been like that. Let's just say he's not going to change. Period. Did he always have to be the center of attention when he was younger? So you have to change your reaction to him. Being in his 70s is not all that old, so this could go on for decades. I don't know how he is about making new friends to yak with, but my mother always refused to do anything socially. I think the only thing you can do is just shorten the agony by having short visits. Unless you wanna cut off all contact completely, you're going to have to grit your teeth and think happy thoughts about getting out of there quickly. and when you are able to sit through a visit and get out without being snappy, congratulate yourself on a job well done! I'm sorry, I hope to heaven that we're not like my mother or your father when we get old, But I suppose one just never knows.

My fathers brain was a continuous loop, for years and years, any conversation would go back to his job and his investments. Very boring.

I learned to tune him out, escaped to my own little world. He wasn't going to change so I had to change my mindset.

Your profile doesn't make any mention of your father. Does he have the beginnings of cognitive or short-term memory impairment? Talking a lot (and not realizing it or reading social cues to stop talking or change the subject) is an early characteristic of dementia. I would try to get him in to his doctor for a test, but telling your father a "therapeutic fib" to get him there, like: "it's time for your free annual Medicare wellness check" or whatever story you think will incentivize him to go. Once there discretely pass a pre-written note to the staff requesting a cognitive and memory test. Be sure to ask the staff for the Medical Representative HIPAA form and have your father designate you as his MR so that his doctor can discuss the outcome of the test with you in private, without your father having to be present.

If the test does indicate he has the beginning of decline, it will help you a lot to educate yourself on dementia. Teepa Snow has many wonderful videos on YouTube, which will help you learn how to better engage with him so that your interactions are more peaceful and productive.

There are strategies, such as redirection, when he starts repeating. Come up with another topic (and it can be completely unrelated). Just keep changing the topic. Or start an activity with him (sorting something, a puzzle, fixing something, food prep, etc). If it gets really bad you can just walk out of the room, no explanation needed. If he's mentally dysfunctional, mentally ill or has cognitive problems, then you won't be able to change the behavior (as others here have also stated). So, you are the change. If he has cognitive impairment then he cannot change his own behavior and haranguing him about it would be unproductive and cruel. For many age-related problems there are no good solutions, only least bad options.