Does my dad have dementia?

MaryPL, think about it, what if things were reverse and it was your Dad who had a medical condition. Would you think your Mom had dementia because she never learned to do his outside chores? I doubt it.

My Dad was exactly like your Dad. But it was my Mom who wouldn't let any of us touch anything in her kitchen or laundry room. That was HER domain. So when she went into a nursing home, my Dad who was an electrical engineer/inventor couldn't even invent a sandwich. That was my first clue that Dad would benefit from having professional caregivers since Dad was in his 90's.

When I got married, I had no clue how to cook much less work an oven, nor had ever used a washing machine.

Was he this way
your entire life? Next time you're visiting, maybe ask for his help making lunch. Setting the table or something like that. Just to get an observation first hand. How is moms cognition, any impairment at all?

I'd say he has ZERO interest in the kitchen or cooking besides eating meals prepared for him!

Seriously though, have an honest sit down chat with Dad.

Be a slueth.. does he actually WANT to learn how to cook/reheat/open a tin? If so, what are HIS plans to learn these tasks?

Then if he really isn't improving in another week or so, some more investigation may uncover if this is a cognitive issue.

If he does NOT wish to cook.. this may need to be unpacked.

Is this 'women's' work? Does he think Mom should continue even when obvious she cannot. Does he think YOU should step in? (Oh YES plenty of men think this. Daughter = Maid).
What does he understand about Parkinson's? And the word 'progressive'? Is there a level of denial & grief about Mom's diagnosis?

Absolutely. I don’t think he should be regarded as capable to care for anyone else or himself. Time to look
into other arrangements for them. So sorry.

I doubt this is dementia yet. He's still pretty young, and if he didn't do any of those things before, he's not going to become proficient now.

My husband is 61, has a master's degree, and retired a couple of years ago after 36 years in the automotive industry.

The man has no idea how the post office works.

He thinks you guess the weight of a package, slap a few stamps on there, and off it goes. Nope.

He doesn't have dementia, but he hadn't been to a post office in at least 35 years, because that's what I did. He's getting better at it, but he still has no idea how to use one of those touch-screen machines to buy postage and isn't willing to try. Go figure.

Sometimes you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Only a doctor can answer that. Honestly though, for someone who never did domestic things for 50 years, I wouldn't be surprised if he can never find stuff and has trouble figuring it out.

It’s a shame that your dad never learned his way around basic household tasks. I get that men and woman often take on differing roles but we should all have a skill set that varies enough that we can live on our own without issue. So is this learned helplessness or something more? A medical evaluation is the place to start in finding out. Dad’s doctor may not be able to talk with you but you can certainly state your concerns to the doctor, either in writing in advance of an appointment or in person, and ask for a mental evaluation. I wish you the best in figuring it out