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Msblcb Asked August 2022

Long term memory fading. Any advice?

I have a question about how memory loss happens over time. My mom certainly has short term memory issues and normally talks constantly about her childhood. She has forgotten her life with my father. They were married almost 50 years. However, lately I am finding that mom is forgetting those childhood stories now. Things she talked about constantly 3 months ago regarding her childhood she cannot remember now. Is that the normal decline that comes with dementia? She has not been officially diagnosed so I am not sure what type of dementia we are dealing with. She still has many abilities. She can make her bed, and get dressed in her own. She does wear pull-ups but can go to the bathroom on her own. Her memory issues seemed to be increasing but her physical abilities are stable. Am I making any sense? Thank you, my friends, for the advice.

lealonnie1 Aug 2022
Dementia eventually causes them to lose their long term memory too, in many cases, as things advance to the late stages. Just stay with mom in her reality of the moment, which can fluctuate from hour to hour. I wouldn't bring up old memories OR new memories.....just focus on the present moment with her, and keeping her calm, that's my suggestion. Trying to get her to remember some event that took place 50 years ago may upset her today, then tomorrow, SHE may bring it up. Which is why you're best off meeting HER where she's at in time on any given day, or at any given hour in a day. It's all subject to change, and very quickly, too. That's one of the worst aspects of dementia, imo, the ever changing landscape and not knowing what to expect.

Best of luck to you
Msblcb Aug 2022
Thank you!
Isthisrealyreal Aug 2022
My granny digressed to the moment. She remembered people that she was close to but, couldn't recognize them sitting in front of her.

We found things she could enjoy, ice cream, a shared coke, walks in the garden, playing catch with a soft stuffed animal and making a fuss over her baby doll, whom she held when she didn't have visitors.

We just tried to bring love and laughter right now, because that was all she had.

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againx100 Aug 2022
Seems in the normal range to me.

MJ1929 Aug 2022
I'd say she needs to be evaluated by her doctor.

It seems that long-term memory is what gets cemented in people's brains and the shorter term memory is what goes, but I suppose it depends on what part of her brain is affected.

My folks were married 66 years, but within two months of his death my dad disappeared from Mom's memory. I think it was because her heart was broken, though. Otherwise, she gradually lost me from her memory as well as her grandchildren, and when she died she was 16 and in love with her first boyfriend again.

She was all over the place.
Msblcb Aug 2022
Thank you! I suppose I thought that long term memories were more retained than what I am seeing. What does a person think about when they lose their entire memory? I question if talking about the past is helpful to her or stressful. If she cannot remember, then does discussing the past just make her realize how little she remembers. She does not seem to get the joy from talking about the distance past as she did. Breaks my heart.

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