How do I convince mum to switch to non-spill cups?

I just switched Mom to plastic mug lined with stainless and snap on lid. I also got big reusable plastic cups with straws for her water. If I’m sitting with her I bring coffee/tea in one of her fav old cups, glass, china, ceramic. But she no longer spills all the way from kitchen to her room. She wasn’t thrilled, but it was a safety issue (burns, wet clothes, slip & falls). It’s no longer her choice. After a month, she doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Helen59: After my mother, a legally blind woman, kept spilling her drinks, I switched out the vessels to non spillable. She wasn't happy about it, but it prevented a cleanup by me.

I've seen some really nice ceramic travel cups, some even have flowers painted on the sides. My husband was always prone to spilling his sodas. There are double walled plastic mason jar style mugs, with a large handle, lid and sturdy plastic straw. They're fairly spill proof. Not dishwasher safe (though the label claims as much). I put the straws through the dishwasher and they come out very clean.
I don't know how much time, your schedule or energy level is as a caregiver now. One other thought is, if your mother insists on drinking out of a bone china cup, is it possible to defer that to once a day-say 4 o'clock tea time or a specific time of day so that you'll be able to manage this easily and then transistion back to a safer way to have her beverages.

My mother, who had advancing dementia over her final years gradually forgot all of her table manners, and then forgot how to chew her food properly. She "pocketed" the food in her cheeks instead of chewing and swallowing. She was in a memory care unit at that time, and they recommended switching to soft foods. As she declined further, she had to be fed. Your mother is at a stage where she is not able to think ahead to consequences. Things are just happening to her. Don't try to reason with her. Accept her state for what it is, and continue to do things that keep her safe, like letting the drinks cool before you give them to her. Can you put a disposable pad over her lap that would absorb spilled liquids? All the best to you both.

Cool for 20 minutes? In a bone china cup? She won't scald herself but frostbite might be a problem - for heaven's sake let your mother enjoy a hot drink in a cup she likes using. Ideally a smallish one.

You can get mats to protect the upholstery, and if you're really worried about her clothes put a towel over her knee. A teacup holds no more than 250 mls, if that. There's a limit to how drenched she can end up.

Sippy cups are necessary for people with tremors, for example, because otherwise they'd never get a drink.

You're trying to have rational conversations and 'convince' a dementia patient of things, which is a waste of time & breath. Spilling drinks and sitting in wet clothing is something YOU will have to put your foot down about now if you plan to continue caring for mom at home. Here's the new rules: mom gets only an adult sippy cup to drink from from now on, and gets her clothing changed if & when it's wet and/or soiled. No further discussions on the matter will happen. The bone china cups and saucers will make a vanishing act and off to the donate pile they'll go. Out of sight is out of mind, especially where dementia is concerned.

Just like when my elderly mother with advancing dementia started vomiting up all of her food, it had to be diced into tiny bits from there on out. She didn't like that situation, but it was set in stone. She also had an adult sippy cup type thing to drink from after she'd gotten aspiration pneumonia and spent quite some time in the hospital and rehab recovering from it. She didn't like that sippy cup, but it prevented her from aspirating any more liquids into her lungs. Mom also had a thing about insisting on having red hot liquids to drink. I mean RED HOT from the microwave after coming out of the coffee maker-hot. Naturally, this was not allowed at her Memory Care ALF, no matter how loud she got about it. Red hot liquids and elders with dementia (or even w/o dementia) don't go hand-in-hand for obvious reasons. Rules are in place for a reason.

Nobody likes advancing dementia and the havoc it wreaks on them and on US, too. It's actually a living nightmare in so many ways, there aren't enough characters here to spell it all out, even. Compromises must be made in order to keep the elder healthy, and you sane at the same time. The above suggestion is one of them. Wearing adult briefs is another such compromise for elders who wet themselves continuously but 'refuse' to wear them, thereby destroying furniture, rugs and upholstery in the entire house. That option is not open for discussion either, so all the underwear in the drawer gets replaced with disposable pull up's.

This isn't a matter of 'luck' but a matter of you setting down the new boundaries for mom if she wants to continue the privilege of living with you or having you care for her at home. Compromises are necessary, even when they're met with resistance.

Wishing you all the best.

I just did a search. I put in "ceramic/china travel mugs" and got a number of choices.

Sounds like you may have to resign yourself to “spills” as being pretty low on the priority list for geriatric care.

As long as she doesn’t object to the loss, the cup substitute approach sounds just about the kindest. Get her some bone china throw aways at a flea market or second hand shop. After she’s broken a few she may (or may not) decide that she should be paying more attention to your efforts.

Won't the mug/beaker just spill too? 🤔

Sounds like Mother is no longer independent with a cuppa 😔 due to the combined reasons of falling asleep + the open cup + not putting it on a table.

Why is she falling asleep mid cuppa by the way?

1/ Get her a nice apron with a leak proof back, and also cover her seat with absorbent pads
2/ Keep the tea in the tea pot and the coffee in a carafe and only serve small portions at a time
3/ Get one of those lap trays or better yet a table (like this one)
https://www.amazon.ca/Adjustable-Tray-Table-Comfortable-Built/dp/B07HVSX2NG
so she is more apt to set the cup down rather than hold it between sips
4/ Get her to come up to the table for her snacks and drinks, it's beneficial for her to move more anyway

On the off chance, did you check Amazon to see if they have cup covers that you can pop onto the cups she likes? They may have something stretchy that will fit. She'll have her cups, you'll have less soggy clothes to wash, and there will be peace in the land (okay, I exaggerate, but it's worth a try).

Like Grandma 1954 said below you don't convince her of anything. You get rid of the old mugs/cups and replace with the non spill type, or even a thermos. When she gets thirsty enough(and she will)she will be happy to drink out of whatever you hand her.
My husband who only had use of one arm/hand after his stroke and later developed essential tremors in that arm, was spilling his drinks all the time. I finally only allowed him to drink out of a thermos, which made it much easier for him to drink without spilling.

You don't "convince" her. You just replace the mugs and cups with ones that have lids on them.
For cold drinks ones with straws are easier. I am not a fan of the lidded cups/mugs for hot drinks. (I tend to dribble, have no idea why but I always dribble)
Be very careful the lidded ones they are usually insulated so they keep hot liquids hot for MUCH longer and cold stuff cold longer.