How can I get assisted living for my mom who has no assets and no income?

If I were in your shoes I would first accompany her to a doctor's appointment to discretely have her cognition and memory tested. There's no point is scooting someone out of your home who is unable to really help herself. Has she been unproductive in the past? Sounds like it based on your post. Is it possible that at 79 she may have the beginnings of dementia? Maybe. For me to have a clear conscience before showing her the door, I would get her assessed if at all possible first.

Your mother would have to need help with 2 or more ADLs *activities of daily life* in order to qualify for Skilled Nursing and then you could apply for Medicaid to fund her long term care there. But I don't know that she has enough medical conditions to qualify for long term care. The 6 basic ADLs are:

1.Ambulating or functional mobility: To move about freely and safely.
2. Feeding: To feed oneself.
3. Dressing: To assemble an outfit and put clothes on properly.
4. Personal hygiene: To manage aspects of personal hygiene, such as bathing, grooming, and brushing teeth.
5. Continence: To control both bladder and bowel movements.
6. Toileting: To get to and from the restroom, use the restroom properly, and clean the self properly.

This is the trouble with moving a parent into our home; it often takes a miracle to get them out, and we're stuck caring for them in OUR senior years!!

I'd read her the riot act immediately and let her know you expect her to pull her weight around the house starting today. Look into finding her a room in a house that she can pay rent towards and be someone else's roommate. You may have to finance that, too, since her SS check is so small which is not ideal, but at least you'd get her out of your house and living independently once again. This is providing she doesn't have enough health issues to qualify for Skilled Nursing.

Medicaid does not normally pay for Assisted Living. You can ask an Elder Care attorney for advice, perhaps they can guide you about Medicaid facilities that would pay for long term care for an elder w/o significant health issues, I don't know.

Wishing you the best of luck finding a solution to this long term problem you've been facing.

At 79 and trying to break a habit that you caused is not fair. 18 years of taking care of her financially, now you want to stop. What are your expectations for her when she leaves? She won’t last long on her own (away from you). The mistake happened 5 years ago when you moved her in, unless there was a dire need to do so, but kicking her out now is nothing short of cruel. 2 years locked up in a room is cause for concern. Back issues are no joke. Maybe she literally can not do what you expect due to health issues and cognitive decline, which CAN happen to the best of us. Have her evaluated, making her back a priority. Then decide if you want to kick her out at 79. Please don’t set out to make her life uncomfortable. Remember life comes full circle. She has, and so do you and your husband, less time ahead than what has been left behind. Blessing to her and you.

I can certainly understand why you’re resentful. Others have posted that you made a mistake by helping her all these years, but actually SHE is the one who set the ball rolling. How does she get the right to just decide she’s not going to take care of herself and someone else has to do it? Age 62 and no retirement plan, but your mom retires. Huh? She could have found another job, part-time or babysitting or anything to bring in income. She could have had a tidy little nest egg by now, especially since you’ve been helping her. No one has the right to be supported financially in their old age. We’re all supposed to plan for the eventuality of what is likely going to happen, which is getting old. If it takes sacrifice, like driving a ten-year-old car, we must do it. Or not taking vacations or not getting new clothes that we don’t need - we have to take those measures so we aren’t a financial burden to someone else. OP is a good daughter, but her mother? She needs to build some character but it’s too late for that.

You can help her find Senior housing. Or she can look for a room for rent.
Assisted Living is not going to be funded in any way.
If she is a Veteran there may be help through the VA.
STOP helping her in any way.
She can buy her own food. She can fix her own meals, she can clean her own room, bathroom. And she can wash her own clothes when it is convenient for you or she can go to a laundromat.
If she has a TV in her room disconnect cable. If she uses computer or your WIFI change password and do not tell her what it is.
Make life a little more difficult for her and a lot fewer "perks". If she wants her benefits back she can pay for them.

Your mother is not likely to be of much help around your house from her. As she gets older, she will contribute less and need more care herself. Expecting significant household help to justify her living with you is unrralistic.

You can help her find low cost housing, but Assisted Living is Private Pay. If she does not have the resourcrs to afford AL, you may have to decide if you and your husband want her out of your house badly enough to pay for her Assisted Living yourselves.

I agree with Geaton777. If she's been staying in her room the last 2 years there might be more going on with her. She might not be able to help with chores and could actually be suffering silently. If you can, get her to the doctor at least for her back. If she does have the beginning of dementia, in my experience, they are good at hiding it for a while.

Try section 8 or public housing then your local housing authority/HUD office. Also, have her apply for welfare and food stamps.

She may well attempt to help out more with any talk of being moved, but I sense the bigger issue is that you just want her out.

Hello, before I comment on your situation I am going to assume this person you are talking about is your biological Mom. And she raised you, provided for you when you could not provide for yourself? You say she rarely leaves her room so she is not around brothering anyone? You and your husband make good money? What's the problem? I wish I had my Mom with me but she died at age 60 in my arms. If your Mom doesn't have any income she should be able to get assistance from the state. Check out the Adult Day Care for her during the day to keep her involved with others and make some friends. I understand they would pick her up and bring her back home and the state will pay for the Adult Day Care. I am a caregiver for my 75 year old husband and 70 year old sister which both have demential. Please do not discard you Mom just love her and take care of her as long as you can have her with you. I am not judging you by no means because I do not have the right to judge anyone. I will pray for you and your Mom to come to a favorable solution for your situation.