My 97 year old mother dribbles on her pants often when she sits to go to the bathroom. Anyone else experience this?

Have you tried putting a toilet seat 'lift' on the toilet? I had one when I had foot surgery last summer. I was OK to sit, but that last few inches--I'd kind of 'fall' onto the toilet seat and it really hurt my legs. This device added about 6" in height and made sitting down so much easier!!

You can buy them online or maybe at a pharmacy if they carry DME's. Just that little added height made such a difference in comfort.

I understand how exasperating this is. You've got so much cleaning to do of her, her clothes, the floor and everything in between, every time she pees. It's must be so frustrating because she doesn't think she's doing it. Sounds like she is losing control of her bladder, and losing ability to tell she has peed some. My mom has dementia, and does exact same. I have a toilet frame mom uses to support herself on the way down. It helps her be able to lower herself steadier and quicker. Plus the thing that works for me is take her to toilet her every 2-3 hours so it's not a rush. And so you can guide her. At first my mom hated being told every step in the process, but I had to insist. Because I am not willing to do all the cleanup and clothes changes 5 times a day. It's a broken record that goes like "turn around, back up, back up more..., pull down pants, then as she begins to pull down pullups I have to say get ready to sit, sit straight down." If I dont guide her she dillydallies so long she starts peeing while she's still standing. This works about 95% of the time. It does take a commitment from you to be on a toilet schedule. May be worth a try.

What about putting a Poise pad in her undies? Would she go for that idea to catch the dribbles?

As far as cleaning herself properly after a BM, unless YOU do it FOR her, it ain't happening, sorry. Her idea of 'good enough' and your idea of 'good enough' are two entirely different opinions.

You can buy a bidet attachment for the toilet if you think she's amenable to using it. That's a quick & efficient way to really clean herself after a BM, but again, she'd have to be willing to actually USE it. Mention it and see what she says. They're pretty reasonably priced on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bidet+attachment+for+toilet+warm+water&crid=2NMCD4RS4BXCU&sprefix=bidet+attachm%2Caps%2C170&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_4_13

At 97, most people need help with toileting. My mother fought off wearing Depends until one day, on the elevator going up to her apartment in the AL where she lived, she let loose and peed FULLY on the rug! She about had a cow and I was just standing there thinking, "Oh dear God, I knew this was going to happen!" I tried to keep her calm and ushered her out of the elevator (thank God we were alone in there) and helped her get cleaned up in her bathroom. Right then & there she agreed to wearing pull up Depends, and that was the end of that subject once and for all!

I'm sure it's a pride thing with your mom b/c really, who wants 'help' cleaning their bums after taking a poop? :) Make light of it as best you can. But tell her that you can't have her sitting on the upholstered furniture in the house after she's wet herself, even a little, without a disposable chuck pad being put down on it first. Unless she's willing to wear a pull up or a Poise pad, then you'll have to lay down chuck's everywhere in the house. See what she thinks about that! Everything in life requires compromise; you compromised your entire LIFE to come take care of her. What is SHE going to compromise for YOU?

Best of luck!

The same thing happens to my mom. She has mild dementia and never knows what happens. I think she starts peeing before she sits down so it gets on her pants and/or pullup. I wish I had a solution cuz it's a tough thing to deal with at home. I don't want pee on all the chairs in my house!

Good luck getting her to clean herself better. My mom has a lot of pain and mobility issues so I doubt she's doing a good job either. When she's been to the doc for incontinence issues, they've never said anything so I guess that means it's better than I would have guessed.

She needs incontinence pads. Maybe let her doctor know so that he recommends pads and tells her. If she still is obstinate then offer her pull ups and hide all of her undies. Try to have a conversation of either or, first to try to get her to agree with the pads...maybe a try it for a day. Remind her that you are sscrificing your life to care for her and that she needs to respect you as well.