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Vanessax Asked September 2022

What should I do about my dad's drinking?

My father has already an issue with his liver due to the fact that he used to drink alot like more than 20 cans a day. He had stop and has been taking his medicine, took surgeries (which made his legs worse) and etc. This year he started drinking again. We were concern and told him to stop but he continued saying that "1 or 2 cans of beer doesn't do anything to me, even the doctors said I can do this" I honestly don't care what the doctors say, I just want him to stop. He acts different when he's drunk, He scares my younger 15 year old sister. She cries seeing him like this which makes her depression even worse. I have begged on my knees for him to stop drinking but we don't know what to do. We are planning to get therapy but I honestly don't know how.

97yroldmom Sep 2022
You can’t make him stop drinking but you don’t have to enable him. Go to the meetings. Learn the best steps. If your sister struggles with depression now this could be a silver lining for her. What she will learn will help her in life.

funkygrandma59 Sep 2022
Like Becky04469 said below, please find a local Al-Anon meeting in your city for you and your sister to attend. They are free and are offered different days and times of the week along with many different locations. You can Google to find one close to you. They will be able to help you both see things perhaps a little differently and make you understand that the only people you can change are yourselves.
All the begging in the world will not change your father. Only he can change himself if he wants to. And unfortunately an alcoholic usually has to hit rock bottom before they will seek any help.
But there is help out there for you and your sister, so I hope you will get some.
God bless you.
Vanessax Sep 2022
That's very true. Thank you! I will look into AlAnon

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Grandma1954 Sep 2022
YOU can not make him stop drinking. Only he can do that.
If at any time you are afraid, or your sister is afraid for your safety call 911 and tell them that you are afraid for your safety. If there are weapons in the house tell the dispatcher.
If you can, leave the house. If you can't, lock yourself in a room. Do not answer the door unless the person identifies themselves as a "safe person" (paramedic, police officer, neighbor, other parent, sibling)
Call Al-Anon or Alateen for support and meetings.
Again YOU can not get him to stop drinking. This is his choice. His drinking is NOT your fault, NOT your responsibility.

Becky04469 Sep 2022
You and your sister should go AlAnon. Find a meeting your area to attend.

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