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Silversenior Asked September 2022

Combative with Alzheimer’s. Any advice?

BarbBrooklyn Sep 2022
Perhaps a geriatric psychiatrist would be the right specialist for your husband to see to discuss meds.

againx100 Sep 2022
This must be terrifying. I would consider calling 911 next time and maybe the ER can start him on something and the doc will see that this crap is real and it's bad and it needs addressing a long time ago. So sorry.

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lealonnie1 Sep 2022
From your profile:

About Me
I am a retired R.N. We retired to AZ 10 yrs ago. My husband and I have been married 51 yrs. sounds corny, but he is the love of my life. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 6 yrs ago. But the symptoms were there before the diagnosis.
Now I am watching him slip away. It is torture to watch him suffer with this disease.
He is now having daily episodes of anger and wants to isolate himself.
I am not finding a lot of support from his neurologist who feels a communication study program will help. I am not opposed, but this morning he locked himself in the spare bedroom for 4 hrs. How can I get him to a support communication meeting. I have asked her for something to even out his moods, but she doesn’t want to do that “yet”. In the meantime we are both suffering.
Any ideas or discussion on this would be greatly appreciated

**************************************************************

I think you need a new doctor or Neurologist for your husband. It's ludicrous that the one you have does not want to 'yet' deal with the issues the poor man is suffering from! Would she like to wait until he hurts you or himself before she addresses the elephant in the room? Ativan is a drug that helped my mother greatly when she was agitated with dementia in the later stages of disease. Agitation and anxiety are very common with AD, and things can get worse quickly, without warning. PLEASE call 911 if he gets violent, so he can be transported to the ER for a psych evaluation & meds. It's also a ridiculous thing (in my opinion) for a neurologist to suggest a 'communication study program' for the man at this point; what GOOD will that do for either one of you?? You need support which can come from an online group such as this one, from Alz.org and from in person groups that also meet, and/or Zoom meetings that also take place. There is an 800 number to call on the Alz.org site to speak to a live person who can guide you; do so asap.

It's not a good thing that your husband (DH) has the ability to lock himself in any room for any length of time. You should remove the locks from the doors to prevent that from happening in the future. Any number of accidents can happen to him while he's locked alone in a room and you don't want that.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about Alzheimer's to better understand what's happening to DH and what lies ahead. I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing AD and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with Alzheimer's.

The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2

She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”

https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4

Another good book is The 36 Hour Day (a reference type book), and Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's (an autobiography) by Diana Friel McGowin.

Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.

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